Lies We Tell Ourselves
by poeticgrace
Summary: Saying "This meant nothing" was just another lie they told themselves, but everyone has to learn the truth eventually. Johnny/Maxie.
1. Chapter 1

Maxie Jones had never been one to do the right thing until Damian Spinelli came along. Sometimes she cursed her best friend for suddenly helping her grow a conscious, something her sainted sister had never helped her do. If angels like Georgie Jones and Robin Scorpio had managed to instill a sense of guilt in her for not being perfect, it was amazing that it had taken the unconditional devotion of an awkward computer hacker who worker for the mob to make her feel bad about the wrongs she had done to so many people. However, these days, she only had to conjure up the image of his wide-eyed innocence and she would immediately find herself doing the right thing. It was really starting to get on her nerves.

On the top of her regret list was the man she considered her father in every way that counted, Mac Scorpio. He had taken on the role of father for two virtuous brunettes and one wayward blonde when their own parents had deemed them too insignificant to stick around for her. Maxie's own parents had never really bothered to make her or Georgie a priority, always off on some secret adventure or caring for other family members in the Deep South. She used to hold it against Frisco and Felicia, but she had recently decided that she didn't care. .They were only her family by biology. The only family she still had left was Mac, Robin, Patrick and Emma. Jason and Spinelli had become another kind of family as well, the beginning of the one she knew she was going to have to build for herself.

Just below Mac on the list was Lucky and Elizabeth Spencer. While she still had no use for the wholesome nurse, Maxie still regretted her part in the demise of their marriage. She knew that it wasn't completely her fault and that Lucky had become an addict long before he had turned to her. However, she hadn't helped things at all and had admittedly made the situation much worse with her constant ploys and manipulations to land him in bed. Old crushes die hard, and at the ripe age of 18, Maxie had been willing to do just about anything to get Lucky's attention. She was in a dark place in her life after losing Jesse, and the comforting arms of the lone Spencer son had been her only solace. Maxie had just wanted to feel love, and when she would lie in his embrace of their afterglow, she could almost convince herself it was real. That was, until Lucky would nearly knock her out of bed trying to reach for the menacing orange bottle of pills waiting for him on the nightstand.

As for Elizabeth, Maxie still maintained that she was a hypocrite for all the lies she had told about the true paternity of her son and all the hiding she had done when she was secretly seeing Jason. Anyone who spent enough time around the Morgan penthouse knew exactly what was going on, and there had been no frequent visitor as Maxie. She had pieced the puzzle together easily but elected to keep her mouth shut. She felt a loyalty to Jason for all that he had done to protect her and Spinelli. She knew that the cold and calculating mobster would put his life on the line for her, and he deserved her discretion. However, it didn't mean that Maxie didn't make insinuations every once in awhile in a vain attempt to throw it back in the nurse's face. As nice as she had become since befriending Spinelli, she still liked watching the woman squirm once in awhile.

Perhaps the only other two people that made her list that were still living were Spinelli and Lulu Spencer. Even though she still felt like sleeping with Logan Hayes had been somewhat justified after what Lulu had done to her sister, apart of her still hated that it ever happened. Not only had she broken Cooper's heart, she had destroyed Logan's relationship with her blonde adversary. That had been the beginning of the end for Logan, and it likely led to him turned into a psychopath who couldn't see past his own jealousy to the reality his life had become. Maxie knew that she had a part in turning Logan into the broken man he was in the end, and she would always regret that she hadn't tried to help him sooner. It was after his death that she pledged not to make the same mistake twice and started to truly befriend Lulu. She wouldn't let the other blonde lose herself like Logan had in the end.

As for Spinelli, he had had to endure the brunt of her selfish actions in the past few months. There were few people that Maxie really allowed to get close to her anymore. After losing Jessie, Coop, Logan and Georgie in the past couple years, she couldn't' justify having to go through that hurt again. She was forever telling her best friend that she was cursed and that he would eventually leave her like the others had. However, with the kind and gentle soul that he was, Spinelli was always ready with a promise of undying devotion and reassurance that he wasn't like the others. Sometimes Maxie could actually believe him until she would catch a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror and the cruel reality of who she really was would come crashing back down on her.

That stark realization is what had led her here, pinned beneath a drunken and sweaty mob kid on the dingy couch left over from the previous tenant in the rundown apartment she shared with Lulu. Johnny Zacharra moved over her expertly, his lips hitting all the right notes to make her body sing. However, she couldn't let herself really enjoy the moment because every time she met his eyes, she was reminded of the circumstances that had brought them both here. They had been meeting like this regularly since they had hooked up the first night at the garage. Everything was off kilter since the tragedies at General Hospital, and Maxie was using Johnny as a way to forget how one night had changed everything.

They still hadn't slept together, but they had definitely teetered dangerously close to the edge during many drunken makeout sessions. He would always show up on the nights when Lulu was working with Kate armed with a twelve-pack of beer. They would down a few quickly before one or the other would make the first move. It didn't take long before the empty bottles and discarded items of clothing would litter the floor. They'd go on like that for hours until one of them regained their faculties enough to stop. However, Maxie knew that it was getting harder for her to stop, and by the frustrated grunt Johnny had offered last night, he shared in her sentiment.

"We have to stop," she insisted breathlessly, even as she craned her head to the side to allow Johnny access to the sweet spot where her neck met her clavicle. His tongue traced a delicious little maze along her dewy skin before making its way back up the column of her neck. Her fingers threaded through his dark hair, hungrily bringing his mouth back up to hers. Maxie moaned as Johnny darted his tongue past her frosted lips and tangled for control with hers. "Johnny, seriously…"

"Shut up," he grunted in a low voice as he pinned her flat against the couch and covered her body completely with his own. He liked the way she reacted to him, her pulse quickening as his hands sought out a new home beneath the hem of her flimsy sweater. Her legs wrapped around his strong torso instinctively in a vain effort to pull him closer to her. "God, you feel so good."

Maxie muttered made her mutual feelings on the subject while Johnny ran his warm hands further up her stomach. His fingers worked expertly over her, eliciting all those guttural reactions that he had come to love from her. He hadn't done more than sleep next to Lulu since they had gotten out of General Hospital after the quarantine. Lulu just didn't seem up to it, and once he had started coming to Maxie, he wasn't either. He just wanted this. It was easy. It was satisfying. It was right.

Just as he was about to maneuver her sage green v-neck over her head, his cell phone began to rattle across the makeshift coffee table the girls had made with an old trunk Maxie had found in a flea market downtown. The blonde groaned as she pushed him off of her. She stalked across the room as he answered it, both of them knowing who it was without having to look. "Hey, Lulu."

"Hey, I just wanted to let you know that we're probably not going to be able to get out of Manhattan tonight," Lulu informed him from the other end of the line. The snow was really starting to come down, and the list of lights cancelled out of LaGuardia was now twice as long as the ones they were allowing to take off. "Kate and I are just going to get rooms at the Waldorf tonight, and I will call you in the morning when I know something more. I just didn't want you to wait up and worry about me."

"Okay, well, thanks for calling," Johnny replied, wondering if he would have even noticed when his girlfriend hadn't come home. For someone that claimed to love Lulu, he had become kind of apathetic about her presence in recent days. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Alright," she agreed. She hated the distance in his voice, knowing that she had a big part in putting it there. Johnny had given up so much for her, and she had started pushing him away. She knew that without her, he had no one other than his sister. "I love you."

Johnny looked up at where Maxie was leaning gingerly in the doorway to the kitchen. Static sizzled between them as his dark bedroom eyes met her hooded blue ones. "I love you."

Without another word, Johnny disconnected the call and threw the phone on the living room carpet with an unceremonious thud. Maxie was on top of him two seconds later, her sweater removed before she even made it to him. They fell into a kissing tangle on the couch, nothing but a mess of tangled arms and legs. Maxie pulled back just long enough to yank off his own black sweater and throw it across the room. His nimble fingers removed her black lace bra without much trouble as she came back against them, their bare chests pressed together. "You're so warm," he sighed deeply as she placed a sinful trail of kisses along his jaw. "Dammit, why do you have to taste so good?"

"Just good enough to make it worth it," Maxie promised him as she moved her hands down to his belt buckle. She unclasped it without breaking the kiss, parting only to whip out the expensive black leather piece and toss it to the side like she had his shirt. His hand crept along her thigh, dipping just below the hem of her short skirt. "You know you can go higher."

"I prefer the slow build-up," he reminded her cockily before thrusting his center against hers. She groaned involuntarily at his body's obvious reaction to her. It had been months since she had been with anyone other than Spinelli. While the Jackal had truly mastered the art of making love, he had little skill when it came to really ravaging a woman. Maxie was the kind of girl who liked it fast and dirty, without apology or reservation. She liked the fear of getting caught, the adrenaline of muffled cries of pleasure, the bruises garnered in the heat of the moment that she wore like a badge of honor the next day. Johnny understood that part of her, the one that felt like sex was sometimes a punishment. It might have looked like they were using each other to the outside world, but Maxie and Johnny understood that they were the only ones that could really each other.

Johnny's hand crept dangerously further up her leg before she clenched it tightly between her legs to stop him. The mob son bit her bottom lip in frustration. "What the hell, Jones?"

"I'm not Lulu," she reminded him seriously. She pulled back enough to meet his eyes so that she could really emphasize her point. "This isn't about love. I'm not going to be some dutiful little girlfriend who follows you around and hangs on your every word. I'm selfish. I take what I want without any apology. I'll tell you lies and make you regret things. I just thought I should give you fair warning what you're getting into here if you sleep with me."

"Thank God for that," he muttered. The last thing he needed was another naïve romantic in his life like Lulu. Maxie was like him; a cynical realist who had been jaded and hardened by the hand life had dealt to them. "It's just sex, Jones. I'm not looking for someone else who I'm going to let down. I don't need the truth or the apologies or the devotion. Hell, I don't even want it. I just want to use you for the next twenty minutes to forget."

"Twenty minutes?" she scoffed. "Really, Zacharra, twenty minutes?"

"Forty-five minutes, an hour, whatever," he laughed despite himself. "The point is that I get it Maxie. I don't need your warnings. You and me, we're on the same page. No one gets attached, no one apologies, no one has regrets. It's about feeling good in the here and now."

Neither of them said another word as they resumed kissing. Before she knew it, Maxie had shed the last few items of clothing so that she was completely entangled in a naked Johnny. The only sounds that filled the dim apartment was the occasional groan and grunt, followed by a curse word that managed to escape from gritted teeth. By the time Johnny managed to retrieve the condom he had discreetly slipped beneath the cushion of the couch, they were both beyond the point of no return.

A full hour later, Johnny and Maxie lay sprawled on the bare floor, inches away from each other and not touching. There was no cuddling in the afterglow or sweet nothings whispered into the night air. Instead, the two sinners lay staring at the ceiling, both of them suddenly nervous to make the next move. Finally, Maxie rolled her eyes to herself and opened her mouth to break the tension. "Can I just say, wow?"

Johnny propped himself up on his elbow and turned to her with a sly grin. "I know, I'm pretty impressed with our performance myself," he mused. He'd slept with his share of women in the day, but few possessed the sexual chemistry he undeniably felt with his feisty blonde companion. "That thing you did near the end, that is to be congratulated. That definitely requires some practiced skill."

"If you're nice to me, I just might teach it to you some time," she joked as Johnny leaned over her. The moment became thick with something more than she was willing to feel. "So, I guess I should be getting to bed. With Lulu in New York, Kate's going to depend on me to open the office early in the morning."

"Yeah," Johnny replied as he pulled back, leaning on his heels as he watched her start to gather her clothes strewn around the room. Maxie didn't even make any move to cover her body up. She was brazen as she strolled around the living room naked, leaning down periodically to toss his jeans and socks his way.

"Thanks for the fun, Zacharra."

"Anytime, Jones."

She smiled at him, hoping that he would allow her to use him again when she needed to forget. "I'll hold you to that," she confirmed with a saucy wink. "Goodnight, Johnny."

Johnny stayed quiet as Maxie made her exit toward her bedroom. He sat there in the living room for a moment longer, ignoring the vibration of his cell phone on the trunk again. He still wasn't quite sure what had happened here tonight, but something in his gut told him that it was more than either of them were willing to admit. The last thing he needed was to go falling for another blonde, especially when his life was still so entangled with the last one. Johnny brushed it off as he grabbed his clothes and headed toward the shower. It was just another lie he would tell himself. This meant nothing. She means nothing.


	2. Chapter 2

"Your girlfriend is going to be back any minute with Kate's coffee," she warned a nonchalant Johnny six weeks later. He stood between her parted thighs, admiring her body through the tight designer black dress from her perch atop her desk at the Crimson office. Lulu had slipped out twenty minutes ago for their daily latte run in anticipation of Kate's arrival, and she due to return right about now. However, Johnny didn't seem to have a care in the world as he moved his hands along the sloped curves of her waist and laid teasing kisses on her bare shoulder. "Johnny, seriously, we could get caught."

"Suddenly worried about Lulu?" he laughed humorlessly as he trailed his lips along her bicep and down to her dainty wrist. Pressing one final kiss on her pulse point, he finally ended his lustful attack on her willing body. "Come on, Jones, I know better than that."

Maxie hooked her arms around his neck and brought him to her for a long kiss just to prove that she didn't care if they were caught. She couldn't let him think she had suddenly gone and grown herself a heart like that stupid Tin Man from _The Wizard of Oz_. She was far too removed for that possibility. "I just don't want her to make a scene," she told him as she pushed him away and hopped off the desk. Maxie straightened her skirt and checked her reflection in the window on Kate's door. "The last thing I need to deal with all day is Lulu's inane whining. It's going to be a busy day, and Kate is going to need both of us to be at the top of our game."

Johnny grinned as he watched Maxie switch from hot and bothered to professional and unattached quickly. That was one of the things he had come to appreciate about her in the short time they had been hooking up, ranking right up there with her insatiable libido and fondness for talking dirty in bed. Nothing caused the blonde to blush. "Well, maybe I should just go then…" he drawled as he backed her up against a wall. Maxie started to push him away when he caught her hands and crushed them between their bodies. "I mean, if you want me to stop, you just have to tell me."

"Stop," Maxie demanded weakly, her own voice betraying her as Johnny knelt before her. He lifted the train of her dress just enough to press an open-mouthed kiss over her belly button, a move he knew was sure to weaken her defenses. Bringing her thigh up over his shoulder, he continued his assault on the soft skin of her abdomen for a moment. His lustful haze was only broken when her patent leather stiletto came crashing to the floor beside him. "I mean it, Zacharra, we have to stop now."

Untangling her leg from his shoulder, Johnny turned away and readjusted the uncomfortable action now taking place below his waist. Maxie collected herself again, trailing her fingers through her hair nervously. "Sorry, Maxie, I didn't mean to push you…"

She smiled up at him reassuringly. Despite their no-strings-attached approach to their little affair, Johnny was still her friend, and she didn't want him to feel like he had crossed a line. "Trust me, it's not easy for me to stop either," she confessed. "In fact, I want you to keep that in mind for later, when we don't have to worry about being caught by my boss and Lulu. Say, maybe I happen to find you in the hotel parking lot around lunch time. We could have a little afternoon delight…"

Johnny imagined a little rendezvous with the blonde seductress in the backseat of her sporty little red convertible. "I might be able to make the time."

"Well, you check your schedule, Zacharra," she grinned as the elevator dinged, signaling Kate and Lulu's arrival. Maxie instantly slipped into professional mode, placing her headset on her ear and scurrying over to her fashionable boss to roll calls from the night before. Johnny hung back for a moment, watching as his girlfriend interacted with the woman he was sleeping with.

"Check your schedule for what?" Lulu asked as she came over to kiss Johnny hello. She tossed the empty coffee carrier in the recycling bin and sat down at her desk to start her morning work. "What do we have planned?"

"Oh, you know that benefit that we're helping Kate with next week," Maxie lied as she closed the door to Kate's private office behind her. "I told Johnny that you would be counting on his presence and that he better clear his calendar for Wednesday night. Speaking of which, I guess I should see if I could finagle Spinelli into acting as my date."

"Yeah, because he is really going to put up a huge fight," Lulu said sarcastically as she typed away at her computer. Johnny's eyes darted over to Maxie as a surprisingly jealous streak flew through his body. He tried to tell himself that he didn't envy Spinelli for getting to have Maxie on his arm. It was just his possessiveness coming through. He didn't like anyone having anything that belonged to him, even if they were only using each other for sex. "I'm sure that Spinelli would love to go with you. His world begins and ends with you these days."

Maxie buried her face in her hands. She had long known that to be true, but it didn't make it any easier. She didn't want him to love her because she didn't want to have to be the one to break his heart. "Don't remind me," she implored. "What is it with that kid? He has a habit of falling in love with his blonde best friends."

"Well, he got over me eventually," Lulu shrugged as she smiled knowingly at Johnny. He had been a big reason that her friend had been able to move on. Lulu knew what it was like to be on Spinelli's pedestal, but she had never really minded it. She liked being the center of someone's world. She hoped that Maxie would come to the same realization and actually return Spinelli's feelings. He deserved to have someone love him, even if it was her. "So, do you think you'll be able to make it?"

"I'll try," Johnny promised as he kissed the top of her head. "I should get going. Coleman said that he has some stuff that needs fixing around the bar and offered to pay me to help him out. I'll see you at home later."

"Okay," Lulu bubbled without looking up. "Love you."

"Love you, too," Johnny replied automatically before retrieving his coat from the back of Maxie's chair. He leaned down closer to her and kissed just behind her ear after sneaking a peak to see if Lulu was watching them. Maxie shivered involuntarily before jabbing him sharply in the ribs. Johnny took a few steps back before saying anything to her. "See you later, Jones."

"Would you leave already, Zacharra? We have work to do, and you're distracting Lulu."

Johnny grinned at her suggestively, knowing that she was the only one distracted by his presence. He liked having just a little bit control over her, even if it was only for the moment. "You ladies have a _delightful_ afternoon." Maxie blushed uncharacteristically at his insinuation. "Bye, Lu."

"Bye, Sweetie," she retorted, turning to grin at him just before the elevator doors slid shut. "Gosh, I just love that boy sometimes. He can be so damn cute."

"Oh, yeah," Maxie scoffed as she busied herself with her work. The last thing she wanted to do was discuss how cute the man they were both sleeping with was. She didn't want to think of him that way. Sexy, alluring, forbidden – those were adjectives she could get behind. But cuteness, it just elicited all these relationship insinuations that were not at play between her and Johnny. "Enough about your mobster boyfriend. We need to pull those clothes that Kate wants for the June cover shoot and talk to the publicist that sent over the shoes for the May pictorial and set up a meeting with that new designer she found in SoHo last week…"

Four hours later, with Lulu on her way over to Lucky's to meet her brothers for their weekly lunch, Maxie strode out of the front entrance of the Metrocourt on her four-inch stilettos, determined to work off some of the tension that had built up in her body. Lulu seemed even more clueless about fashion today than usual and had actually sent the same set of headshots to two competing designers. Maxie had spent most of the morning soothing their bruised egos and negotiating which man would get to use which models. Her BlackBerry buzzed inside her clutch. She pulled it back and frowned at the message from Johnny. _Where the hell are you? I don't have all day to wait._

Maxie spotted him leaning against her the driver's side door of her car when she entered the employee parking lot, his arms crossed against his chest in a sign that he definitely wasn't happy. "Oh, you'll wait for me," she demanded softly when she reached him. Johnny's lips tugged downward in a defiant grimace. "Come on, Zacharra, you know it's worth waiting for."

"I don't wait for anyone."

"Good thing I'm not just anyone then," she boasted silkily before pressing the button to unlock her door. Johnny climbed in the backseat first, not even bothering with the chivalrous manners of holding the door for her. Maxie rolled her eyes as she slid in beneath him and slammed the door shut. She thanked Mac once again for agreeing to the darkly tinted windows, knowing that no one would be able to see into the car. "Now, where were we this morning?"

"Right about here," he reminded her as he dragged her thigh back over his shoulder. He pressed himself between her legs to catch her lips in a lustful kiss. They only had about twenty minutes, and he planned on making every second count. Not even bothering with the technicalities of clothing, he dragged her body up to his and moved against her. "You have got to stop wearing underwear when we do this."

She started to make some remark but quickly snapped her mouth shut when Johnny tore the flimsy satin away. She knew that she should be angry that he had just ruined a very expensive piece of lingerie, but she just couldn't find it in her to give a damn right now. She slipped her hands between them to undo his zipper and moved over to straddle his lap. "I will if you will," she said as he settled himself inside her. A gravelly moan was his only response as he readjusted to the new sensation.

Neither Maxie nor Johnny said another word until it was over, which had become the case for them. Instead, they communicated by looks and touches and kisses when they moved together as one. She'd sometimes mix it up with a little bedroom talk, but when it was quick like this, it was all about the non-verbal. Maxie was breathless as she buried her head in his shoulder, both of them still panting from their mutual highs. His hands rested on her lower back. Neither of them made a move to disconnect.

Finally, once they had both caught their breaths, Maxie crawled off his lap and sprawled out on the seat next to him. "Good times, Zacharra."

"Back at ya, Jones," he grinned as he buttoned his jeans. He waited for Maxie to straighten out her skirt and smooth down her hair. She reached over and wiped away the last traces of her berry lipstick smeared along his mouth. "I think we're getting these quickies down an art."

Maxie had to admit that Johnny had quickly learned exactly how to get the desired results from her body in a matter of minutes. They didn't always have the luxury of time, so when the occasion called for it, she was glad that he had mastered his skills enough to bring them both off in record time. "It definitely did the trick."

"Bad day, huh?"

They settled into a friendly conversation as they often did after the task at hand was done. They could just go on as if nothing had happened. "Yeah, you could say that," she shook her head. "I swear your girlfriend still does not understand anything about this business after work at Crimson for all these months. She caused a complete disaster, and I had to fix that whiny little brat's mistakes once again."

"Don't call her that?"

"What? Johnny, you should have heard her. She was whining like a toddler all morning. It was excruciating," she complained. "I swear, if my job didn't depend on it, I would let Kate catch her some time just so that I didn't have to put up with her. She is supposed to make my job easier, but she only makes it harder because everything takes twice as long. I'm always correcting something she's done."

"No, I meant don't call her my girlfriend. Not when we're here like this."

She wanted to question his statement but decided against it. Instead, she only offered an understanding nod. "Well, I should really get back upstairs. Kate has about a million calls to return this afternoon," she sighed. "Thanks for hoping me blow off some steam and forget about work for a little bit."

"Just living up to my end of the deal," he said. "We're here to help each other forget."

Maxie smiled kindly before leaning over to kiss him chastely. "Do you want to go first or me?"

"You go on ahead," he answered. "I'll lock your doors when I get out."

"Alright," she agreed before Johnny brought her back to him for a final kiss. This was one was long and deep, his parting gift to her for a job well done. "I'll see you at Jake's later. Lulu wants us all to hang out there."

"Oh, great," Johnny muttered to himself as he let her go. "I'll be seeing you, Jones."

Maxie didn't dare look back as she headed toward the hotel, willing herself not to think about Johnny's comment to her too much. He was a moody mobster, so it would make perfect sense that he didn't want to think about his girlfriend while he was cheating on her. She had made him promise not to talk about Spinelli. If their goal of sleeping together was to forget, the last thing she wanted him to do was remind her of anything that mattered. It was a lie she told herself, that he made her forget. If anything, however, he was only making her remember that much more what it was like when two people really connect.


	3. Chapter 3

It had been a long and torturous day by the time Maxie finally dragged herself to the dive bar for a night cap with her friends. Spinelli had called earlier and offered to pick her up on his way, but she had wanted to take a long shower and wash the stress of Crimson off her before making an appearance at Jake's. Her friend had sounded defeated when she had refused his offer but quickly perked up when she promised to buy the first round of drinks. Spinelli was already at their usual table when she walked through the front door, completely wrapped up in a conversation with Lulu. The two talked animatedly while Johnny's looked around the bar aimlessly. His dark gaze met hers instantly, the air sizzling between them despite the presence of others.

Maxie forced herself to shake it off as she strode over to their table and collapsed next to Spinelli. "Thanks, Spinelli!" she said enthusiastically as she picked up his beer bottle and downed its contents in record time. The computer hacker looked at her in shock, while Johnny couldn't help but grin. Only Lulu seemed not to notice, still babbling on about something that both men had quit listening to as soon as the other blonde had walked in the door. Maxie couldn't help but feel a twinge of pride as she considered this. Lulu had demanded the same kind of attention just a few summers ago when she had been the center of a fight between Dillon, Spinelli, Milo and Logan for her heart. Payback certainly could be a bitch, and there was no bigger bitch in Port Charles than Maxie Jones.

"I promised Spinelli that the first round was going to be on me," she announced over Lulu. "Since he is talking to Lulu here, why don't you come over and help me bring them over?"

Johnny nodded in agreement as he followed Maxie to the bar, leaving two unaware people behind to fall back into their conversation about some art film neither Maxie nor Johnny would ever dare see. "Four beers," Johnny told Coleman. He turned and leaned against the bar, keeping his gaze fixed on their table while talking in a low voice to Maxie. "That's a good look for you, Jones."

Maxie scoffed at his compliment. While she ordinarily prided herself on her self-professed hotness, she knew that she was a far cry from the fashionista she knew herself to be. The last thing she had felt like doing was forcing herself into uncomfortable clothes after her relaxing shower, even for the sake of style. Instead, she had elected on her favorite pair of faded jeans and a simple white fitted tee. It wasn't what she would have considered hot but whatever worked. Besides, she wouldn't let him see her doubt herself. "Not looking so bad yourself, Zacharra," she complimented him as she appraised him. He wore a pair of distressed jeans that had seen better days and a body-hugging black knit tee. She could see every last ripple of every last muscle in his torso clearly defined beneath the thin material. "I just might have to take you right here over the table."

"I was thinking more like against the bar," he suggested as Coleman handed each of them a pair of frosty bottles. He left a shocked Maxie in his wake, returning to the table to hand a bottle of beer to his girlfriend. "What are you guys talking about? Still the movie?"

"Actually," Lulu replied curtly, "we were just talking about how crazy it is that we're all hanging out here. A year ago, Maxie and I were sworn enemies. Maxie and Spinelli were just barely learning how to get along, and you two guys couldn't stand the sight of each other. You didn't really know Maxie yet, other than the fact that your sister was trying to pay her to sleep with you. It's amazing where a year could take you."

Looking down at her beer, Maxie couldn't help but think of her life a year before that. She had been happy with Cooper, and her sister had still been alive. It didn't really amaze her anymore how much could change in a year. It was more how things changed in a split second that got to her these days.

"You okay?"

Maxie managed a bright smile as she beamed up at her best friend. "I'm fine, Spinelli," she vowed. "I was just thinking about my sister. You know her birthday is next month."

Spinelli nodded. He had the date marked on his calendar and had already started making plans on how he would honor Wise Georgie's memory. He wanted to do something special for Maxie because he knew how hard the day would be on her. "Can I do anything?"

"No, I'm fine, really," she assured him again. "Anyhow, Lulu, you're right. I never thought that I would call any of you guys my friends. I pretty much hated you for what you did to my sister, and Spinelli hated me for what I did to you. I didn't even know Johnny, and I just thought that Spinelli was a freak. Little did I know that you would turn out to be my best friend."

The four of them fell into an easy pattern of conversation over the course of the next couple hours. Never one to hold his alcohol too well, Spinelli was the first one to make his leave, calling the penthouse to have Jason send a driver after him. He offered to escort Maxie home, but she wasn't done having fun yet. With a promise to come by and see him the next day, Spinelli set off into the night, brining their private party to three. A call from a flu-ridden Nikolas a few minutes later pared the number down to two as a mostly sober Lulu headed out to Wyndamere to help her ailing brother take care of his son.

When they were alone, Johnny moved his chair closer to Maxie's so that they were both facing the bar. "They had no idea what they were doing when they left us here alone together, did they?" he asked as he nodded toward the place where he had propositioned her earlier. "What do you say I pay Coleman off to close up this place for the night? He knows how to be discreet. We could drink as much as we want, play a few rounds of pool, maybe get some use out of that bar…"

While it sounded vaguely like a date, Maxie decided that it was just another meaningless way for Johnny to get laid. "Fine, whatever," she agreed, not letting a hint of emotion creep into her voice. "Just make sure he keeps his mouth shut."

Johnny sauntered to the bar and fell into a hushed conversation with the bar manager. Coleman glanced over at her once before nodding silently. "Alright, closing time!" he called out, eliciting groans from the other patrons. "I know, I know, I know. I have a private party coming in, so you all have to get out of here. I don't care where you go, but you can't stay here."

It took a few minutes to usher out the rest of the customers, but eventually, Coleman handed the keys over to Johnny for a wad of big bills. The mobster promised to lock up the bar and return the keys in the morning before Coleman finally allowed them to be alone in his prized bar. However, when Johnny turned the deadbolt on the door and drew the blinds, he was happy to find himself alone with only Maxie and a bluesy Chris Isaak song to keep him company.

"You know, the title to this song describes you perfectly."

"Oh, yeah?" she quirked her eyebrow. "Am I a 'Wicked Game' to you?"

"Definitely," he answered as he slid his arms around her waist and propped her atop the pool table near the jukebox. Maxie reached across the green velvet to rack the balls within the wooden triangle. "We both are, I suppose. We're wicked and we like games."

Maxie shrugged unapologetically. That was definitely apart of who she was, but the last year had shown her that there was something more. That part of her, she reserved for Spinelli. The "Wicked Game" side belonged all to Johnny these days. "What do you say to a little Eight Ball?"

"What does the winner get?"

"When _I_ win, I get to pick the first place you're going to take me in this place."

He laughed at her brazen confidence. "Well, you better get ready because I still have big plans for you and that bar over there."

She threw him a sexy smirk over her shoulder as she took her first shot and successfully sunk two solid balls. "Not a bad start. I think those lessons that Jason gave me are really starting to pay off."

"Jason Morgan gave you pool lessons?"

"He was tired of me breaking something in his apartment every time one of the balls flew off the table," she admitted. Jason had been frustrated when he'd had to replace two cues in a matter of weeks as well. He'd finally broken down at given her a few pointers, if only to save his penthouse. "He mostly just puts up with me for Spinelli's sake."

Johnny was quiet for a moment as he lined up his shot. He managed to pocket a stripe before scratching on his next turn. He moved to the side to let Maxie figure out her next move. "So how was the rest of your day? You didn't really say much all night."

"It's kind of hard to get a word in edgewise with the way Lulu dominates the conversation."

"Oh, because Spinelli is so quiet! That kid likes the sound of his own voice more than anyone I know."

She couldn't defend her best friend because she knew he had a point. "Anyways, the rest of the day was much like the first half of it. Lulu caused a disaster and I had to avert it before Kate found out. I still managed to get everything done by some miracle. I'll only have to go in a half-hour early tomorrow to send the dress over to the tailor that Lulu snagged on a pair of earrings."

The two of them spoke easily about their days, commiserating about their mutual work woes and mundane stresses. Shot by shot, they edged closer to the end of their game. By the time Maxie was ready for her next shot, they each had only one ball on the table along with the eight ball. As Elvis Costello faded into Roy Orbison, Maxie came over purposefully to where Johnny stood and leaned over the table to give him a full view of her assets. She sunk the red ball easily before looking at him joyfully. "Eight ball," she announced, "corner pocket."

Johnny watched in disbelief as the black ball disappeared into the corner pocket she had pointed out, allowing her to win the game. He had to give it to the girl; she definitely had game in more ways than one. "Good game, Jones."

"I know," she declared as she set the cue back against the table. "Now it's time to pay up."

"So the table?"

Maxie shook her head as she grabbed his hand. She pulled him over to the corner where a black baby grand piano stood in the corner. It was a recent addition to the bar for the nights that Coleman brought in live entertainment. "I want you to play for me."

It was such an intimate gesture between the two, really the first either had allowed since their affair had begun. "I don't know, Maxie. That might not be such a good idea."

"Don't worry, Johnny, I am not going to look at you with those same moony eyes that Lulu does," she promised. "I just want you to play a little melody demonstrative of the way you're going to ravage me right here when you're done." She patted the closed lid of the piano.

Johnny had always fantasized about doing exactly that with a woman but had never gotten the chance. He had come close with Lulu a time or two but had always dragged her toward the bedroom, not wanting to scratch his prized possession. His fantasy stemmed from the incredibly hot private piano teacher who had taught him when he was twelve, right about the time all of his hormones had kicked into high gear.

Cracking his knuckles, he sat down at the piano and warmed up his fingers a little bit with a waltzing tune. It soon transitioned into a slow jazz number as Maxie stood in front of him, swaying her hips in time with the beat. He watched her run her hands down her sides and back up again as his melody became a little edgier with its staccato notes. Maxie slowly lifted her tee over her head, throwing it on the bench beside him to show that she was completely bare beneath. Her performance prodded his impromptu song along as he added a rocking bass line with his left hand.

Maxie couldn't help the images of _Pretty Woman_ that flooded her mind as she performed a striptease for Johnny. Losing herself completely in his spontaneous ode to their coupling, she slowly dragged down the zipper and slipped the button of her jeans open. Johnny's eyes widened at the bare expanse of her stomach. Someone had been listening earlier. Maxie walked over to the piano and crawled atop the lid, praying that it was stable enough to hold her wait. She lay on her stomach, propping her chin up on her palm as she watched him play for a moment, before turning on her back. Her hands roamed over her chest before moving above her head to play with his hair lazily. Johnny's song came to an abrupt stop as he stood up and kissed her over the piano. She only allowed the kiss to part so that he could come around to better reach her.

Forty-five minutes later, Maxie lay entwined in his body atop the piano, with only his shirt thrown over them for a blanket. She knew what had just happened between them took the entire to an entirely different place, but she didn't want to talk about it. Not yet. She wasn't quite ready to admit that things had changed. She didn't want to think about the words she had let slip when she had neared her release or the adamant way he had returned the sentiment without even thinking. No, she just wanted to lie to herself for one more night and pretend that this still meant nothing.


	4. Chapter 4

Maxie stayed away from Johnny for an entire week after their night together at Jake's, spending as much time as the Crimson office and Jason's penthouse as she could to avoid being in the apartment any time with him alone. Lulu didn't seem to notice her absence from their place, and Spinelli didn't seem to mind having her around more. Other than Johnny, in fact, no one really picked up on her sudden change in behavior. Maxie just went through the motions of playing the bubbly socialite and stylish fashion plate, never once letting the world in on her latest dirty little secret.

The one person she couldn't lie to anymore, however, was herself. When she had come home earlier than planned on Thursday, she had found Johnny and Lulu curled up together on the couch, watching some inane drama on television. Lulu had invited her to stay and watch with them, but one look into Johnny's eyes had sent her flying for the lonely solace of her bedroom. She had lain awake for hours, staring at the ceiling while she listened to the quiet hum of their conversation. Her only reprieve when they had finally gone to sleep and snoring had welcomed her rather than the sounds of their lovemaking.

Seven days had passed since that night at Jake's, but she could still feel the burn of his fingers on her supple skin a week later. She ran her fingers through her messy hair as she stared out at the glassy waters of the harbor below. The people of Port Charles had been coming to the docks for years to sort out their problems, and she was no exception. She had spent more than her share sitting on the old wooden planks, trying to figure out where she had taken her first wrong turn. The truth was that she had always known what had led her down the darker path. Living with the pressure of having someone else's heart inside of you was immense, much too much for a little girl. Yet, no matter how much pressure she'd felt to live up to B.J.'s memory, having her cousin's heart had also given her this sense of power to live her life to the fullest.

She scuffed her heeled boot as she retraced her journey from one side of the pier to the other for the tenth time before settling down on the bench. Her eyes drifted over the crashing waves as her mind went foggy. She started to think about that night more than a month ago when she had first sought out Johnny. They had agreed to keep their distance after the drunken evening trapped in the garage during the blizzard. Maxie felt guilty for what Spinelli had gone through without her, and Johnny felt awful about what Lulu had endured alone. That kind of guilty paired with the stark realization that had hit them while they watched over a feverish Emma at Mercy had seemed like enough to keep them apart.

That was until about a week after the chaos of the poison outbreak had calmed down. The city was still blanketed with a layer of pure white powder, and everyone was trying to find their own way to deal with things. Some relationships had grown closer during those hours trapped in General Hospital, while others had neared collapse almost completely. Lulu and Johnny were two of those people who had struggled. They'd had an awful fight once again about his family, leaving him feeling not good enough and her feeling frustrated with him. Lulu had left the apartment in a raging fit, disappearing to parts unknown until she called from Elizabeth's cottage the next day.

That same evening, Maxie happened to get into an argument with Spinelli at Jason's. She was still worried about Robin and everything else that had happened that night, so she lashed out at her best friend when he dared to ask what was wrong at her. Rather than opening up about all the concerns that had been consuming her, she had been offended that he thought that she was less than perfect. It was easier to be angry at him than to tell him the truth.

By the time she had gotten back to the apartment, she had been on a self-destructive mission to completely wreck her life. She had employed a lot of methods over the years to smash her life to pieces, but sex had always been her sure-fire weapon. As soon as she walked in the door and found Johnny enjoying a bottle of Jack Daniels alone on the couch, she knew exactly what she was going to do. They had only managed to get halfway there that night, but it was enough to appease her disastrous tendencies for the time being. The satisfaction must have not lasted too long, though, because they were back at it a few nights later. There was always an excuse, a reason that she could use to justify what she was doing to all of them. However, the night that she spent with Johnny at Jake's had left her with only one reason for why they were still doing this. They were doing it because this suddenly mattered.

Maxie was broken out of her reverie when an unwelcomed visitor cleared his throat on the staircase behind her. She knew who it was even before she turned around, her stomach twisting in knots when she met his cool gaze. "How long have you been watching me?"

"Just long enough to know you were really lost inside your head there," Johnny answered as he came the rest of the way down the steps and over to the bench to sit next to her. He tried not to take offense when Maxie moved further away from him. It wasn't like he had exactly gone out of his way in the last week to see her either. "So, it's been awhile."

"Yeah, about that…"

"We don't need to talk about it, Jones," he assured her with a firm shake of his head. The last thing he needed was for her to apologize for ending something they probably really shouldn't have started in the first place. "How was your week?"

"Miserable," she admitted as she turned slightly to meet his probing eyes. If he was going to slip back into the friendship role, Maxie could play along. "Work has been a mess, and I haven't been able to sleep."

Johnny nodded thoughtfully. "You should try warm milk with just a little bit of cinnamon," he suggested. "Claudia used to make it all the time for me when I was a kid and couldn't sleep because my father was screaming at one person or another. It always did the trick."

"I'll have to keep that in mind," she retorted. "What about you? How's life been treating you this week?"

Johnny thought about telling her the truth, that he had suddenly found himself looking for reasons to pick fights with Lulu and that he hadn't been able to do anything more than kiss his girlfriend since they had hung out that night at the bar. He thought about confessing that he couldn't keep Maxie out of his mind and found her popping into his brain at the most random moments. He thought about revealing to her how he'd almost called his girlfriend by her name the other night when they had been watching television on the couch, the same night she had come home looking tragically cute with her smeared mascara and ridiculously high heels. He thought about revealing to her that he had never felt as alive as he did when he was with Maxie. He thought about telling her the truth.

Instead, he shrugged nonchalantly and allowed himself to tell them both another lie. "It was decent."

She could read the sadness in his dark eyes, knowing that it very likely mirror the emotion evident in her much lighter ones. "Can I tell you something?" she asked, her voice small and quiet. "I know it kind of goes against this arrangement we have going on here, but I want to tell you anyway."

"What is it, Jones?" he asked, lifting his chin in her direction. "What is so forbidden that you are breaking the rules to tell me?"

Maxie rolled her eyes at his swaggering confidence. It would be a lot more maddening if it wasn't so damn sexy. "So, these past few days, I might have missed you," she confessed, looking down at her hands in her lap. She couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes, knowing that they would likely be brash and smug. "Shut up."

"I didn't say anything," he professed, holding his hands up in surrender despite his self-satisfied grin.

"I knew I shouldn't have told you!" she cried as she buried her face in her hands.

Johnny reached out and pried her fingers away so that he could see her beautiful face. "Yes, you should have."

"Do you mean that?" Johnny nodded silently. "Because I meant what I said."

Johnny darted from the bench, letting her hands fall back to her lap heavily. "Dammit, I told myself I wouldn't do this!" he yelled out, his voice echoing in the still winter air. "I told myself that I was going to stay unattached this time. I said that I wouldn't let myself feel anything. And then you came along with your amazing body and your alluring confidence and our undeniable chemistry, and you just got under my skin."

"Don't you think that I said the same thing?!?" she argued back, stamping her foot on the dock. "I know what happens every time I let myself feel anything for someone. You were supposed to make this simple. We were supposed to just hook up and not feeling anything. You were my escape, my easy lie. And then that night at Jake's, it all changed. I don't want to feel what I feel for you. I know what it's going to do to the people that we both care about."

"Maybe this should just be the end of it."

"Maybe," she agreed, wishing that her heart believed with the same sureness that her voice portrayed. "I mean, we could walk away now before anyone finds out. No one gets hurt."

"Is that what you want?"

"Is that what you want?"

"Dammit, Jones, just answer the question."

"Why don't you, Zacharra?" she shot back defiantly. "Be a man and tell me what you want."

It had been instilled him from a very small age to never let anyone question his masculinity, especially a woman. His father had drilled it into his reflexes to always defend his role as a strong man. "I want you right here, right now."

"Well, we don't always get what we want, do we?"

"I do," he boasted as he grabbed her by the waist and dragged her out of sight below the staircase. He pressed her back against the wall, hitching her legs around his waist so that he maintained all control. Maxie's hot mouth was on his in no time as her fingers tangled in his dark locks and her wide blue eyes fell shut. "Look what you're doing to me, Jones."

"I'm not the one to blame," she managed as he pushed up her skirt and pressed himself against her. At least if their reunion was about sex, they could act like that conversation out there had never happened. They were good at the physical part. It was only when emotions came into play that they seemed to have any troubles. "Do you have anything?"

Johnny fumbled around in his pocket for a minute before setting her down in frustration. Maxie heard the angry curse under his breath as he stalked away from her, folding his hands behind his head as he paced. "How could I not be prepared?" he chided himself. "I knew I was coming here to look for you."

Maxie was in the midst of searching her oversized handbag for a condom when she heard his unsettling confession slip unexpectedly from his mouth. "What did you just say?"

"Nothing."

"No, you said you came here looking for me," she proclaimed, pointing at him. "You came looking for me because you missed me too."

"I was just looking for an easy lay."

"No way, Zacharra. Don't think that you're going to be an ass and get out of this," she argued. Men had certainly said far meaner things to her and actually meant them. His vain attempt to hurt her feelings didn't affect her in the slightest. "You felt something the other night, too, didn't you?"

He wanted to take the blonde and shake her by the shoulders for being so clueless. What exactly did she think his little tirade had been about earlier? "Fine, Maxie, I missed you!" he told her. "Are you happy?"

"Why would that make me happy?" she asked. Johnny felt guilty immediately when he saw the tears welling up in her eyes. "Neither of us wanted this to happen. We both know that this isn't a good thing. It's a disaster waiting to happen."

"Maybe," he agreed with a whisper as he came closer to her. Despite himself and because of the sad look in those big beautiful blue eyes, he wrapped his arms around her and cradled her close to him. "Probably."

"Spinelli is going to hate me."

"Lulu will never forgive me."

"We could be really bad together."

"Come on, Jones, we already know that's a lie."

"So what are we going to do?" she asked. "Are we going to keep sneaking around? Are we going to tell them the truth? Are we going to just keep things the way they are? Are we going to try this for real?"

He wished he had the right answer to appease the fears. Somewhere deep inside, the soul of the musician was threatening to come out and be the sensitive man she had long ago told him that she didn't want. "We'll just be us, Maxie," he said finally. "I guess we'll just have to see where that takes us."

Maxie stepped back and shook her head. "I can't do that to Spinelli," she decided. As much as she wanted to pretend that she hadn't change, her friendship with the hacker had impacted her. "I can't lie to him, not about you and me. He has to know the truth. Even if we're not together, I know it will break his heart if he finds out that I kept this from him for any longer than I already have." She waited for him to say something – anything – but he didn't. "You don't have to tell her."

"What if I do, Maxie?" he asked. "What if I tell her the truth and we break up? Are you going to be my girlfriend then? What good will it do for Lulu to know the truth?"

"Probably none," she admitted with a wry shrug. "It doesn't mean that I'll keep lying to him."

"You love him, don't you?"

"Of course I do, he's my best friend," she reminded him. "But the way I feel about Spinelli isn't the same way I've started to feel for you."

"That isn't fair, Maxie."

"None of this is fair, Johnny."

"I just need some time to think."

Maxie nodded again before coming over to him. She reached up and readjusted the collar of his wool coat and stood up on her tip toes to kiss his cheek chastely. "Well, you know where to find me when you're done."

Johnny caught her wrist as she started to walk away and whirled her back to him. "Promise you'll be there when I'm ready," he implored, already mentally kicking himself for being so open and vulnerable to him. "Say it, Jones. Make me a promise."

She had made and broken too many promises to repeat that mistake again. It was time to stop lying to Johnny, to Spinelli and to herself. "You know where I'll be," she repeated before untangling her wrist from his grasp and disappearing up the stairs and out of his sight.


	5. Chapter 5

It was raining the next morning when Maxie rushed into the office, running late for probably the first time since she started at Crimson. She was notorious for being the first one in the building, preferring to be ahead of the game so that Kate couldn't find the opportunity to replace her with one of the other fashion-hungry girls vying for a place at the growing publication. It was rare that Lulu get in on time, so she was completely thrown off balance when Maxie threw an apology her way as she tossed her bejeweled clutch on top of her desk and tucked her hair behind her headset just a few seconds before their boss sashayed off the elevator.

"Maxie, are you alright?" Lulu asked cautiously as she sat Maxie's daily latte on her desk carefully. The petite blonde looked up at her fellow assistant and wordlessly rolled her eyes before turning her attention back to her laptop. Maxie was starting to feel a little guiltier every time she looked at her roommate. After her conversation the day before with Johnny, she knew that it was only a matter of time before both Spinelli and Lulu knew the truth. She just had to keep her mouth shut until then. Acting like the snob Lulu knew her to be was the surest way to do that. "Okay, don't even bother to answer. I don't know why I try with you! Just when I think we're going to be friends, I am reminded of what a bitch you can be."

Trying not to wince at the other blonde's biting words, Maxie stifled a yawn and continued to type out Kate's itinerary for the day. "Lulu, we don't have time sit around and chat this morning. Kate has an important meeting with that designer who is flying in from Milan. Take her this sheet in when you bring her the coffee," Maxie ordered as she handed Lulu the freshly printed schedule. "When you get done with that, we need to start rolling calls. We need to have them returned before Kate's 10:30 appointment with Jax so they can finalize the ad budget for this month."

Lulu rolled her eyes at Maxie's bossy orders before marching into Kate's office to deliver her schedule and coffee. Relieved to be alone, Maxie brushed her hands over her face and tried to ignore the constant buzzing coming from her purse. Spinelli had been trying to call her all night, but she still hadn't picked up her phone. In fact, she hadn't spoken to a single soul in between her conversation with Johnny on the docks yesterday and coming into the office this morning. She had hid out in her room all night pretending to sleep so that Lulu wouldn't bother her. Meanwhile, Maxie hadn't actually been able to get a wink of rest the night before. Between having to listen to Lulu whine to Johnny and thinking about how she was going to have to break her best friend's heart, her mind hadn't stopped racing.

The two girls spent the next two hours going through Kate's overflowing inbox, returning her endless stream of messages and opening the stack of mail that had been neglected all week. Jax arrived promptly at 10:30 for his weekly meeting with Kate with a pair of fresh carrot muffins in hand for his favorite fashion assistants. Lulu had wolfed hers down as if she hadn't eaten in weeks, and Maxie could barely stomach a few bites. She always lost her appetite when she was worried. When Lulu had noticed the mostly uneaten treat sitting on the corner of her desk, she had smothered Maxie with another round of questioning. Maxie feigned a sudden interest in the latest fad diet before tossing it in the trashcan beneath her desk. That should by her at least a few days without anymore questions on the subject.

At 11:15, Kate stopped by to tell her faithful assistants that she was heading into Manhattan with Jax so that they could meet with a few potential advertisers. As she jetted out the door with the Aussie in toe, she dropped a stack of proofs to be messengered over a designer for approval along with her latest round of notes on a five-page story one of the writers was doing on the latest starlet of the moment. Maxie tried not to curse beneath her breath as she looked at the splash of red ink on the white pages, knowing full well that she was going to spend the remainder of her day stroking the ego of a very moody writer.

"Can you make sure that this gets over to Rodrigo?" Maxie asked Lulu as she handed her the sealed envelope filled with photographs. "You don't have to deliver it yourself. Just have someone come pick it up and make sure that it gets to his office by three."

"Yeah, I'll do it before I leave to go to lunch with Johnny," Lulu retorted as she picked up the phone and dialed the messenger service from memory. Poor Jack always had to run across town at the last minute to meet the demands of the three fiery women at the Crimson office. "He should be here any minute."

Maxie felt her stomach turn over at the prospect of seeing Johnny so soon. She should have known that their paths were due to cross soon given their living situation. Her life was entirely too entwined with Lulu's for this to end well. "You know how Kate feels about having our personal life in the office."

"Like that ever stops Spinelli from hanging out here," Lulu muttered as she waited for the secretary to return with a confirmation number. She twirled her pen in her hand absently as she shot her co-worker a pointed look. "Maybe you should worry a little more about your boyfriend and quit obsessing about what I do with mine."

"Look, I don't give a damn what you do with Johnny," Maxie shot back, slamming her hand against her desk a little louder than she had intended. "The only reason I even said anything is because Kate holds us both responsible for what you do, Lulu. I am tired of having to smooth things over with her just so I can keep my job when you screw up. She has said before that she doesn't like having Johnny around here. Can't you just listen to her for once?"

"Chill, Maxie, Kate isn't even here," Lulu reminded her. "He's just picking me up for lunch."

"Fine, whatever," Maxie said dismissively as she turned back to her computer. She tried not to let her irritation show. She knew that she didn't care that Kate didn't like the guys hanging around the office. It was her envious side shining through. The last thing she wanted to have to do was see them together. It only reminded her of all the things she wanted to forget right now. "Just don't get caught, okay?"

Lulu nodded her head before returning to the last remains of the mail. Just as she was about to dive into arranging Kate's travel plans to Paris next week, a welcomed ding from the elevator gave her cause to take a break. "Hello, welcome to Crimson, how can we help you?" she greeted a uniformed deliveryman politely. She rushed out from behind her desk to take the towering vase of blood red lilies from the man, her face lit up with an expectant smile. They had to be to her from Johnny. Spinelli would never send flowers. "Wow, these are beautiful."

"Are you Maxie Jones?"

Maxie was surprised to hear that the beautiful bouquet was hers. "That would be me," she announced as she dropped her headset on her desk and came over to sign the slip. Lulu carried the vase over to Maxie's desk and sat it down. She fingered the card curiously, wondering who would send her such a lavish arrangement. If it wasn't Spinelli, who could it be? The girls lived together, and if there was another man in Maxie's life, Lulu was sure she would know. She was just about to slide the card off its holder when Maxie snatched it from her. "Excuse you!"

"Who are they from?"

"That's none of your business," she snapped as she slipped the simple white card from its envelope. She turned away from her roommate for privacy. Maxie recognized his jagged script immediately. Her breath caught in her throat a little as she read his words. _You don't have to promise me anything, Jones, I already saw it in your eyes. _Dammit, that boy had an uncanny ability to see right through her to her very essence. There was no pretending anymore where Johnny was concerned. He knew her because she was him in the female form.

Lulu tried to look over Maxie's shoulder but was easily pushed aside as Maxie shoved the card into the pocket of her camel suede skirt. "You're really not going to tell me who sent those?"

"Like I said, none of your business," Maxie repeated. It was times like these when she missed her sister the most. She had never had a close girlfriend that she could talk about these things to except for Georgie. There was no one to share her secret with, no one who would understand. "Don't you have a flight to schedule or something?"

"God, you are no fun," Lulu mumbled as she threw herself into her chair, pouting like a small child. Despite the fact that they were just a year apart, Maxie knew that there was a vast difference between their maturity levels. Lulu was still like a little girl hungry for her daddy's attention, while Maxie had grown up faster than most girls. She had been an adult from the very moment a surgeon cut her chest open and put the weight of her cousin's unfulfilled destiny on her shoulders. Lulu had grown up as the heart and soul of the Luke and Laura fairytale. They came from completely different worlds.

The two worked in complete silence for ten minutes before another arrival interrupted them again. Lulu was on her feet instantly when a disheveled Johnny stepped off the elevator. Maxie tensed up immediately, crawling further inside herself as she struggled to focus on her computer.

"Are you ready to go?" Johnny asked, trying not to sound as irritated as he sounded. He had tried to get her just to meet him downstairs in the lobby, but Lulu had been insistent that he pick her up for lunch. The last thing he wanted to do was make this harder on Maxie. "We have a reservation at noon."

"I just want to run to the bathroom," she excused herself, grabbing her purse as she headed toward the hall.

As soon as she was gone, Johnny was at Maxie's side, perching himself on the edge her desk. "Nice flowers, Jones."

"They are," she concurred without meeting his gaze. "I liked the card even more."

"Oh, yeah?"

She looked up at him behind heavy lids. A deliciously sly smile played across his lips, and Maxie wanted nothing more than to kiss him right then. "Yeah," she exhaled. "Johnny, come on, don't do this."

"We both like playing with fire, Jones," he reminded her in a hushed voice. "I know that you like it hot. What fun is it if we don't get burned once in awhile?"

Maxie reached up and grazed her perfectly manicured nails along the inside of his thigh. "Do you want to get caught? Is that it?" she teased as she stood up and moved between his parted legs. She looked over his shoulder to check for Lulu just in case. "I can play the game, Zacharra, but you better be ready what happens next. I'm not like your little good girl over there. I don't play fair. I take what I want, what's mine, what I deserve. Do you think you can handle that?"

"I think I've handled you just fine, Jones."

She smirked at his insinuation, knowing that he definitely had given it to her exactly how she liked it. "You want me so bad right now," she whispered, leaning forward so that her breath tickled his cheek, "and it's killing you that you can't have me."

Johnny unconsciously licked his lips at her suggestive tone. "I would deny it, but we both know I would be lying," he shrugged unapologetically. He definitely wanted her, and the way his body betrayed him whenever she was around was all the proof she would ever need. "Meet me tonight."

"No."

"C'mon, Jones, you know you want to."

"Maybe," she agreed, "but I won't. Not until I've told him."

He grimaced as he was once again reminded of Spinelli, of the other man that mattered to her. "Why do you have to tell him? Isn't it more fun to just sneak around? You don't see me rushing off to tell Lulu."

"I actually love Spinelli. I care about him," she pointed out. "That's more than I can say about your feelings toward Lulu lately."

"I love Lulu!" he protested. "You know that I care about her."

Maxie shook her head, not at all buying his feigned protestations. "You can't lie to me, Zacharra. You might care about Lulu like a friend, like I care about Spinelli, but you're not in love with her," she laughed. "You could never love someone who bores you. She doesn't challenge you. She doesn't make you feel alive. She's easy. You know exactly what you get with her. That's not your style."

"And you are?"

"I am the very definition of style," she informed him haughtily. "I am exactly the right fit. You've tried me on for size, Johnny. You know that you love the way I look on you."

"And under me…"

A slight blush crept up her throat as she jabbed him gently in the ribs. "The next time you kiss me, I want it to be about me," she said finally. It's what she should have said that night at Jake's. "Once upon a time, I would have believed that I was only good enough to be used. I would have thought it was okay for you to escape in me. Now I know better. No matter how hot we are together, Zacharra, you're not worth me compromising myself for anymore."

Johnny had to respect Maxie for knowing what she deserved and not being afraid to get it. "I don't know if I can be that guy."

"Cut the bullshit," she demanded. "Don't talk to me like I'm her. I'm not naïve. I know exactly what kind of guy you are. I don't mind the danger and the scary father and the bitchy sister. I can deal with that. I just won't play second fiddle to anyone."

Girls like Maxie were definitely not second-fiddle material, Johnny knew that. With her perfectly highlighted hair and smoky eyes and juicy lips, she was the kind of girl that got and deserved the best of everything. And despite all the brave fronts she put on for the world, she was just as broken as he was inside. Yet, unlike Lulu, she didn't use her past as a clutch or as a convenient way to explain away her faults. She owned her imperfections. She saw past his to who he really was. She would never want him to be some sensitive guy who poured out his emotions or wore his heart on his sleeve. She just wanted him to belong to her and only her.

"Hey, sorry I took so long!" Lulu called from down the hall. Maxie brushed her hands down Johnny's arm as she stepped away from him, grabbing his hand for a brief moment before returning to her chair. "Johnny, we should get going if you want to make the reservation."

"Huh?" he muttered, still caught up in the burning sensation of Maxie's fingertips on his skin. Lulu stopped in front of him and waved her hand in front of his face. "Sorry, yeah, we better go."

"I'll be back after lunch," Lulu called over her shoulder as she pulled Johnny toward the elevator.

He threw Maxie a forlorn look as he followed his girlfriend dutifully onto the lift. Reaching down into his pocket, he nearly grinned when he realized he had left his keys on Maxie's desk. "Lu, why don't you go down so that we don't lose our table?" he asked. "I forgot my keys. I'll be down in just a second."

"I can help you look for them…"

"Really, we can't lose our table if you want to make it back here at a decent time. I'll be right there."

Lulu hesitantly agreed, brushing a kiss over Johnny's lips as a reminder before allowing the elevator doors to slide shut. Maxie was already on her feet with the keys in hand as Johnny rushed across the room. He stopped short as she handed them over. Pocketing the keychain, Johnny took a timid step forward and wrapped his left arm around her waist. Pulling Maxie flush to his body, he reached up and framed her face with his free hand before kissing her softly and slowly. A small sigh of contentment escaped from both their lips when they pulled away.

"Yeah," he smiled as he backed away and onto the elevator. "That was definitely worth coming back for."


	6. Chapter 6

Johnny couldn't shake the feeling of having Maxie in his arms as he headed downstairs to the restaurant to meet Lulu. He knew that he should feel guilty for the way he felt about the vivacious blonde upstairs, but he just couldn't seem to find it in him to apologize for it. It wasn't love exactly, but it was certainly something more than he had wanted to find with the girl. She had been his escape in the beginning, but she had quickly become his new obsession. He felt at ease with her, a sense of home that he had never really felt with Lulu. He'd always felt not good enough for her, but with Maxie, he felt just good enough. He felt right. There had to be something pretty amazing about the woman to make a broken man like him feel whole again.

As he stepped off the elevator, he stopped to hang back for a moment. He had spent countless hours watching Lulu Spencer, and even now, he couldn't deny that she was absolutely beautiful. Luke had once told him about her mother, how Laura had been the living embodiment of an angel, and Johnny knew that was a trait that she had passed onto her daughter. Lulu had been his savior at a very reckless point in his life. She had saved him when he had needed saving. It was only when he had failed to save her back that he realized their problem. He would never be able to fully tell her the truth about who he was and the things he had done. She would never know his part in Michael's shooting or the other countless heinous crimes against humanity he had done. She saw him like she saw the world, with a naïve gaze of wonderment through a pair of rose-colored glasses.

The thing about his relationship with Lulu was that it had just become another lie in the past few months. They had never been able to recapture the hopeless romanticism that had defined their relationship before her nervous breakdown. He still felt guilty about his part in her falling apart. Sometimes he wondered how she couldn't see it. They had been moving apart for so long now that it barely felt like they had anything real left. He knew that he loved her. It was just a different kind of love. It was hard to understand what was left between them, and that realization was what kept him holding on. He kept waiting to see a glimmer of that carefree girl he'd fallen in love with, but it was hard when they were both very different people.

And now, as he sat across from her in the dimly lit booth, listening to her go on and on about something that he wasn't even pretending to listen to, he wanted to tell her. He wanted to tell her the truth and make her see what she was choosing to ignore. He wanted to see her fight for him, to see if she still had that same passion for him that she'd had in the beginning. He wanted to ask why they never made love anymore and why she hadn't noticed when they'd stopped. He wanted to ask if she ever got jealous when she caught him staring at Maxie or if she even noticed. He just wanted to feel something in this relationship other than guilt and sadness. He wanted to feel about Lulu what he felt about Maxie.

That would be impossible, however. He had never felt for anyone what he felt for Maxie. It might be hard for him to acknowledge it, but the way he hungered for the spunky blonde was unparalleled. It wasn't just their intensity and sexual chemistry; it was the way she could break down all his walls. She understood him without even trying and didn't need to ask a million questions because she could see the answer in his eyes. She was a strange paradox of fierce independence and delicate fragility. He could go from wanting to ravage her on a gritty bar floor one minute to wanting to protect her with every manly instinct in his body in the same breath. It was maddening.

One of the only comforts he had managed to find in all of this besides the incredible sex was that Maxie was just as messed up about everything as he was. He knew that she was risking a lot by letting herself feel even a sliver of what was bubbling up between them. She cared about Spinelli as much as he cared about Lulu. And even if he didn't really have much use for the computer hacker, he couldn't help but feel bad for the guy. He had an innocent love for Maxie, completely pure and unscarred. They would never have made a very good romantic match, Johnny thought, because Maxie would eventually break his heart. That was what their kind always did. He knew that was why Maxie had kept her best friend at arm's length for so long; she couldn't be the first one to completely wreck him.

Other than sharing in their complicated situation, Johnny also took solace in the fact that Claudia might actually approve of this girl. She had been against Lulu since day one, forever reminding him of how her kind and their kind didn't mix. He had been hard-headed and refused to believe that their love couldn't surpass anything. Yet, in the back of his mind, he'd always known that she was right. Maybe that was why she had tried to pay off Maxie all those months when they'd made their little deal about seducing him into bed. It was possible that Claudia had seen early on what a matched set they were.

"Have you been listening to me at all?"

Johnny snapped back to attention as he looked up at his girlfriend. She held her fork in mid-bite as she glared at him across the table. He realized that it had been quite awhile that he had even feigned acknowledgement of anything she had said. "Sorry, I'm distracted," he apologized as he raked his fingers through his hair nervously. This whole thing with Maxie had definitely left him off kilter. "I think I might be coming down with something. I haven't been feeling well all morning."

Lulu wrinkled her brow in concern. She reached over and pressed the back of her hand to his forehead. "You don't feel warm. Maybe it's the stomach flu or something," she diagnosed. "I could probably take the afternoon off to take care of you. I could make some of that chicken soup that you love so much and tuck you into bed."

"I'm a terrible sick person," he retorted dismissively. "I should probably just call Claudia and see if I can hide out in the apartment that she kept after she married Sonny. I could hole up for a couple days and sleep it off until I'm feeling better. I get really grumpy when I'm ill."

"I'm going to have to see you sick eventually, Johnny," Lulu said pointedly. "Besides, I know that your sister probably doesn't deal very well with patients. Why don't you just let me take care of you?"

He thought about correcting Lulu and informing her that his sister was surprisingly very tender when he was sick. She had always fawned all over him when he had even the slightest headache. She was fiercely protective of her brother. They were all that either of them had ever had for years, and no matter what was going on, she was the one person he knew would always be on his side. She knew the same about him. It didn't surprise him that Lulu couldn't see that part of his sister.

"Lu, really, I'm a nightmare to be around. You'd probably just get frustrated with me," he attempted lamely. She was his girlfriend, and part of her job was to take care of him when he was sick. He knew that. Why couldn't he just let her in? It had been so easy not that long ago, but now it felt like she was asking him for the world. "If you really want me to stay at the apartment, I will. I just don't want you to get sick."

"Awww," she cooed as she smiled at him over her coffee cup. "It's sweet of you to worry about me when you're sick, but I really want to take care of you. It's what we're supposed to do. You would take care of me if the situation was reversed."

The two of them finished their lunch before going their separate ways to finish their days. Lulu promised to come home as early as she could, armed with all the fixings for her famous chicken soup. Johnny told her that he was probably just going to go home and veg out on the couch. At least he could watch mindless television all day if he pretended to be sick rather than have to look for a legitimate job. She still didn't know about the side jobs he was doing for Coleman, and he didn't really plan on telling her any time soon.

By the time he got back to the apartment, he was actually looking quite forward to his plans for the rest of the day. He figured that he could probably get in a nap before Lulu came home and maybe call his sister to catch up. They had barely spoken since the night of the quarantine since it still crept him out to be in Corinthos' house. He was so distracted with his thoughts when he came into the living room that he didn't even realize that he wasn't alone. It was only when he nearly ran smack into Maxie that he bothered to look up and take heed of his surroundings.

"Jones? What are you doing here?"

"Uh, I live here," she said dryly. "Why are you here? Lulu's not home. Wait, she better not be here! She is supposed to be covering the phones until I get back from lunch. She didn't sneak out, did she? Kate is going to have a conniption."

"Whoa, calm down," he chuckled as he rested his hand on her bare shoulder. "Lulu is at the office, don't worry. I was so distracted at lunch that I had to lie to her about feeling sick. She went me here so that she could take care of me. I had no idea that you would be home."

Maxie crossed her arms in front of her. "I wanted to come by and pick up a few things. I thought I'd go home to stay with Mac for a few days," she told him. She'd called her father as soon as Johnny left the office. She knew that she needed to put some much-needed distance between them until she talked to Spinelli. Even if he wasn't going to tell Lulu, she needed to tell her best friend. Being near him in the mean time would only tempt her. "He's pretty excited to have me at the house. I think it's a little lonely since he's there alone now."

"You don't have to do that, Jones," he said softly. "This is your place. I can go somewhere else."

She shook her head vehemently. "I'm not doing this for you, Zacharra, so don't go thinking that it's about making you comfortable," she informed him. She wasn't about to let him think that she was that selfless. "I'm doing this for Spinelli and me. He deserves better than what I've been giving him, and as soon as I'm ready, I'm going to tell him the truth."

"Don't do that."

"I already told you that I'm telling him."

"Not that," he shook his head. "Don't act like I don't matter to you. We're supposed to be past that now."

"I don't know how to do this. In case you haven't noticed, I don't exactly have a great track record in this department," she reminded him. "If you want to destroy your heart, then I'm your girl. Don't get soft on me now, Zacharra. You can't go putting me up on that same pedestal you put Lulu on. It's a hell of a long way to fall."

He momentarily considered telling her that maybe he would be the exception to the rule, but he knew that she wouldn't believe him. They were who their history had made them to be. She wouldn't believe him anymore than he would believe her if she said she could make him into a stand-up guy. "I'm not soft."

Maxie giggled as he pushed out his bottom lip in a pout. "I told myself that I wouldn't be alone with you again until I told him."

"And yet, here we are."

"You kinda of keep happening to me."

"Oh, is that how this started?"

"I should really get going…"

"No, don't," he insisted, encircling his large fingers around her wrist. "Don't leave yet."

Maxie grinned at his insistence. "See, I told you that you were getting soft."

"I beg to differ," he grunted as he yanked her close to him and pressed her body against him. "In fact, it appears that I am quite the opposite."

Her eyes went wide as his face broke out into a brilliant smile. He loved catching her completely off guard like that. However, in true Maxie fashion, she was on her game quickly. "That's going to be really painful for you when I walk out of here in about two minutes."

"You're not going anywhere," he murmured as he tightened his grip around her. It was the first time he had really held her in his arms without immediately making a move. It felt nice to be with her like that, almost normal. She tucked her head under his chin and buried her face in his chest. "Okay, maybe I am going a little soft…"

"No, don't change," she insisted. "I like you like this. You're all hard edges with a soft center, like one of those Tootsie Pops or something."

He liked the way she saw him, though he wasn't going to voice it now. "Well, that begs the question," he teased her. "How many licks does it take to get to the center?"

"Well, like the owl said in the commercial, the world will never know."

"Oh, no, I'm fairly certain you will."

She shrugged nonchalantly. "Well, then, just one."

"Why, are you going to bite right through?"

"Nope, I'm just that good," she said proudly. "I mean, look at what I'm working with."

"I'm not sure if that was a compliment to you or to me."

"To both of us," she declared as he kissed the top of her head. It was both strange and natural to be like this with. It was almost like they were just like any other young couple starting to fall for each other. With that realization, Maxie once again thought about Spinelli and why she had needed the break from Johnny in the first place. "I really need to get back to work."

"Fine," he relented as he let go of her reluctantly. She rested her palm against his cheek for a moment before grabbing her purse off the couch. "Are you going to come home tonight?"

Maxie shook her head as she searched for her car keys in the bottomless pit that was her handbag. "I really think we need at least a night, Johnny," she answered. He noticed that her voice was almost regretful. "Besides, I already told Mac, and he would be disappointed if I wasn't around for at least tonight. He's making my favorite dinner and everything."

"So you're just going to hang out with your dad?"

"Actually, I thought I'd go see Spinelli," she confessed. "I'm going to tell him tonight."

"Tonight?!?" he cried. "Isn't that kind of fast?"

She arched her eyebrow as she looked at him. "Do you want this to happen or not? Because you do realize that I will not sleep with you again until he knows, right?"

"It's just, you know."

"Yeah, I know," she sighed. This wasn't exactly fun for her either. "I've got to go."

"Alright, I'll talk to you tomorrow or something," he replied as he walked her to the door. "Good luck."

"I don't need luck," she said as she stepped out into the hallway. "I just need to tell the truth."

With those parting words, Maxie strode down the hallway and disappeared down the staircase. Johnny closed the door to the apartment after her and collapsed on the sofa. The living room still smelled of her long after she had gone. He knew that in a matter of a few hours, everything would be changed. There would be no going back, no more pretending that this didn't matter. It was both frightening and exhilarating. However, he had never been one to back down from a challenge. This was just another thing life had thrown at him, and he would only judge himself by how he dealt with it. He would be the man that Lulu had long thought him to be, perhaps for the first time. He was going to tell her the truth, and then he was going to break her heart.


	7. Chapter 7

"Hey, Jason." The stoic mobster didn't even bother to respond as he moved to the side to allow the petite blonde into his apartment. She was always showing up at the penthouse uninvited and unannounced, reminding him too much of anther certain blonde he just couldn't seem to shake. Maxie stood at the foot of the steps with her hands on her hips. "I said hello."

"Maxie," he acknowledged wryly before heading back to the couch where he had been deep in conversation before Maxie had interrupted. He took a long drawl of his beer and sat the bottle on the table. "Spinelli is upstairs. You know the way."

Peering around Jason to the woman next to him, Maxie exchanged a smile with Carly. She had noticed that the woman had been coming around even more than usual since everything had gone down at General Hospital. Spinelli had told her that the night had put a lot into perspective for everyone who had been there, and it definitely seemed to be the case with Jason and Carly. In fact, if gossip proved to be true, the divorce papers had been filed to officially end Carly's marriage to Jax. While she couldn't be certain that there was a long-awaited reunion in their future, Maxie secretly held a glimmer of hope for Carly and Jason.

To most people, Jax would have been a much better choice for Carly, but Maxie knew better. She understood Carly in a way that only a kindred spirit could. While a lot of people had compared the older woman to Lulu, it was Maxie that Jason always drew a parallel to. Neither of them ever chose the easy route and was fiercely loyal to the rare precious few who were privy to the inner workings of their heart. Furthermore, while the nice guy might look good on paper, it was the bad boy that stirred their souls. For Carly, that man had always been Jason Morgan. Maxie was beginning to suspect that Johnny Zacharra could prove to be that for her.

"Maxie, Spinelli is upstairs," Jason repeated, clearly annoyed, before Carly jabbed him in the ribs. He softened when he met his best friend's gaze, a surprisingly charming smile playing on his handsome features. "Just go on up."

"Thanks," Maxie told both of them before heading up the staircase. She hated herself for what she was about to do, but after seeing what she just had downstairs, she knew that she didn't want to prolong things anymore. She didn't want her friendship with Spinelli to die a long, suffering death like Carly's marriage to Jax had. If he was going to write her out of her life because of this, she had to know. No matter how much she loved him and wanted to hold onto that, it was more important that he know the truth. It was going to hurt like hell, but for once in her life, she knew what it was like to truly care about someone more than she cared about herself.

She knocked on the door but didn't bother waiting for a reply before letting herself into his bedroom. Spinelli was sitting in the middle of his bed, hunched over his beloved laptop, typing frantically away. She watched him for a minute, knowing that he was completely unaware of what was about to happen. He looked up at her briefly and offered her an innocent smile before returning his attention to the screen.

"Hey, I need to talk to you."

Spinelli held up his left hand while he continued to type with his right. Maxie had never seen anything like Spinelli when he was at work. "Just give me a minute…"

She knew that she should be patient, but she was afraid that if she didn't go through with this now, she would be able to talk herself out of it. Nothing had ever scared her as much as telling Spinelli the truth about her and Johnny, not even the time that Mac had caught her with Kyle back in high school. "Spinelli, seriously, this can't wait."

"Maxamista?" he asked tenderly as he closed the lid to his laptop. He moved from the bed to wrap his arm around her. "Are you okay?"

Spinelli's obvious concern for her well-being sent another wave of guilt coursing through her veins. "I'm fine," she promised. They sat down on the bed across from each other a few inches apart. "There is something I need to tell you, and you're probably going to hate me for it. I just need you to listen to me all the way through and not interrupt until I'm done. I'll listen to whatever you have to say afterward, but I don't want to back out of this."

He reached for her hand and squeezed it affectionately. "I'm sure whatever it is that I could never hate you," he assured her. "The Jackal is here to listen to you. I am your humble audience."

She giggled girlishly, much like she always did when she was around him. He had a unique way of making her feel completely carefree. It was a great quality to have in a man, and she wished not for the first time that she could be in love with him rather than just love him. "I slept with Johnny." The way his jaw literally dropped open broke her heart into pieces instantly and caused tears to spark up in the corners of her blue eyes. "It didn't just happen once. It's been going on for a few weeks. It started right after that night at General Hospital, and it kind of spiraled out of control since then. We didn't start out that way. It was mostly innocent, just kissing and stuff. Then something happened, and I slept with him."

Spinelli was stunned by her admission and had a million questions racing through his mind. However, he had promised to stay silent until she was finished. "I didn't plan for it to happen, and I certainly didn't want it to be anything more. I wasn't trying to hurt Lulu or you. I just wanted to do something completely selfish so that I could forget everything," she tried to explain. "I just wanted to feel good. He gave that to me. It was easy with him. It wasn't supposed to be anything. I didn't mean for it to get like this."

"But now it means something?"

Maxie was quiet for a moment before she dared to meet his wavering gaze. The sadness and anger that dwelled in his eyes was unmatched to anything Maxie had ever seen before. She had hurt a lot of people she had loved in the past, but she knew that nothing could compare to this. Not sleeping with Logan, not all the lies she had told Jesse, not all the hell she had put Mac through, not all the angry words she had thrown at Georgie. The love that Spinelli had for her went beyond all of those things, and yet, she was still capable of doing this to him.

"It means something," she affirmed. "I told him that I couldn't do it anymore. I said that I wouldn't be with him until I told you. I don't know if he'll tell Lulu. That's not really my choice to make. I just couldn't keep lying to you. You're my best friend, Spinelli, but I know this could change everything. I won't say that I'm sorry that it happened, but I am sorry that it is going to hurt you."

"What happened to make you sleep with him?" He hated to ask the question, but he had to know the answer. He knew that it must have been monumental to push her toward Johnny when she had been trying so hard to be a better person. "What could have been so bad?"

This was the part she had been looking forward to least. "I hooked up with Johnny for the first time after we got into that really bad fight almost a month ago," she admitted, her eyes dropping back to her lap. She couldn't let him think that this was his fault. "I was so damn angry at the world, and I took it all out on you. I was trying to make sense of everything that happened that night and in the last two years before that. I was trying to pretend that I was fine, but you saw right through me. You were just being a concerned friend when you asked what was wrong with me, but it just felt like you were saying that I was wrong altogether."

"That's not what I meant at all," he pointed out. He knew that she knew that, but he still needed to say it. "I care about you more than anyone in the world, and I hated how you were punishing yourself. I just wanted you to open up to me."

"But don't you see that I couldn't?" she asked. "You are the most important person in my life beside Mac, Spinelli. You are my family and my best friend. I wouldn't want to do this to you for anything in the world, but I couldn't open that part of me up to you. I knew that you wouldn't understand the darkness. You couldn't. You're so much better than that."

"So are you."

A small smile crept across her lips. Even in the middle of this, he could still see the best in her. Her life would be so much easier if she could just love him like he loved her. "No, I'm not, and that's why I did this to you. Johnny understands that part of me. He gets the addiction to the darkness, the need to wreck yourself just to feel alive. It's how we keep from getting numb. We're probably not good for each other. We'll very likely destroy one another. I just feel like I have to quit lying to myself and give him and me a try."

"Do you want to be with him or do you think he's all you deserve?"

"Both."

Spinelli had lost two blonde best friends to bad boys. Still, even as much as he loved those girls and envied what those guys had, he knew that he wouldn't trade places with them for anything in the world. He might not always act like it sometimes, especially when he wanted to be as strong and brave as Stone Cold, but he could see the end game when it came to these things. Just like Lulu and Logan had, Spinelli thought that the fire that was driving Maxie and Johnny now could very likely sputter out.

"You're going to regret this. Just ask Lulu."

"I'm not her," Maxie countered softly. "Johnny's not Logan."

"God, I want to hate you so much for doing this."

"I told you that I would."

"Maxamista," he retorted sadly, "I want to hate you, but that doesn't mean that I can. The Jackal won't pretend that this doesn't hurt like hell. In fact, the pain is unparalleled to anything I have ever endured in my life. However, I still don't hate you. I love you too much for that to ever be a possibility. I'm just not sure that we can be friends, at least not like we were."

"I expected as much."

"The Jackal just needs some time," he said as he turned away from her. Spinelli had never walked away from her in the many months since they had become friends, but he had to do it now. He couldn't be the guy that she had taken for granted for the last year. If he really mattered to her, she was going to have to fight for him. He would fight for her if he thought he still had a chance to win her heart. "I think you should go."

"Spinelli, please…"

"Maxie!" he cried sharply. She cringed when she heard him use her name rather than the nickname he had affectionately used ever since deeming her his best friend. "Just go."

The only thing Spinelli felt as she rushed out the door was the cold breeze of her brisk departure. He could hear the clumsy rumble as she ran down the stairs and the brutal slam of the door as she left the apartment. Maxie was breathless as she took the steps two at a time, not even bothering to wait for the elevator. She could barely see through her tears as she spilled out of the building and into the cold air of the early spring evening. Her heart was pounding as she doubled over to catch her breath, willing herself to calm down enough so that she could drive back to Mac's house safely. However, her body couldn't seem to cooperate with her, and before long, her knees had given out and she was falling toward the sidewalk.

Just before she was about to hit the sidewalk, she felt a pair of strong arms catch her. Maxie looked up at her savior with wide-eyed wonderment. "What are you doing here?"

Johnny pulled her upright and enveloped her tightly into his arms. "Are you okay?" he murmured as he kissed the top of her head and hugged her. He had showed up just in the nick of time. "I was worried about you. I thought you might need me after you told Spinelli. I guess it's a good thing I was here."

"I don't need you to save me," she insisted despite the tears that were now freely falling. Everything caught up with her all at once. She fisted his black sweater in her tiny hands as she tried to pull him closer. "I don't deserve to have you save me."

"I don't care what you deserve, Jones, I'm not going to let you fall," he promised. He knew that a sweet promise like this one was what had started all the problems with Lulu, but he knew that it was different with Maxie. He didn't feel unworthy of holding her. He felt exactly like the right answer. "I'm just as much at fault in all of this as you. We're stuck in it together."

"I broke his heart."

"You knew that you had before you showed up here. It's just real now."

"You just wait until you have to tell Lulu," she sobbed. "You'll understand then."

"She already knows."


	8. Chapter 8

While Maxie had been agonizing over how to reveal her hidden secrets to her best friend, Johnny had been in the midst of a heated argument with Lulu. Well, Lulu had been arguing, and he had been mostly sitting on the coach at the girls' apartment in complete silence. While he knew that her reaction was justified, he almost despised the adolescent way she was behaving. The Zacharra blood ran thick in his veins, and it took everything he had not to react to her childish antics.

The last thing he had expected was for Lulu to show up at the apartment, especially when Maxie had only just left. However, she had decided to lock up the office so that she could check on her boyfriend. Instead, she had found her roommate and the man she loved in each other's arms, plotting the demise of her relationship without her. She had allowed a few minutes to pass once Maxie had unknowingly passed her as she hid inside the door of a janitor's closet. As soon as she had walked in the door and met his eyes, she finally saw the guilt she knew she had been trying to ignore.

"Lulu, if you would just listen…"

"Listen to what, Johnny?" she spat hotly as she stopped pacing and poised in front of him. Her fists were clutched tightly at her side. "Listen to you explain what I overheard in the hallway when I came to check on you? Listen how you could do that to me when I was worried about my sick boyfriend? Listen to you justify how you could be cheating on me with that, that _slut_! Explain it to me because I would really love to hear you put it all on me."

"Don't call her that."

"Really?" she laughed humorlessly as she whirled around him, her hands now planted firmly on her hips. "Really, that's the first thing you want to say to me? Don't call Maxie a slut? I am standing here, angry and crying, and you are worried about what I am calling her. I cannot believe this."

Johnny brushed his hand over his hair anxiously. He couldn't help but think of his sister in the moment. She would be thrilled to see how Lulu was acting. Claudia had long said how immature and close-minded Lulu was. She saw her as a selfish, sniveling little girl incapable of communicating like an adult. The fact that she couldn't sit down and listen to him for two seconds reminded him once again how different they were. "Do you think maybe you could actually listen to me for a minute before spiraling completely out of control? Lu, please, just sit down. I know you're angry. You have every right to be mad at me. I just need you to listen. It's the only way you're going to understand."

"Fine," she huffed. Lulu threw herself into the chair and crossed her arms in front of her. She sneered at her boyfriend angrily. She could never understand how he could sit there so calmly and discuss this as if they were talking about something as meaningless as a trip to the market. "Why don't you just get it over with so we can break up and I can kick you out of here?"

While he knew that the end of the result of their conversation was likely just as she had predicted, he was still determined to see it through. They had spent the last two years fighting to be together, and their relationship deserved a true and thought-out ending. He didn't want to enter into the next phase of his life with this hanging over his head. If Lulu was going to break up with him, she was going to know everything. She was going to know the dark and bitter honesty that led him to Maxie and kept him coming back to her.

"First of all, before I say anything, I want you to know that I have loved you more than I have ever loved any woman. For better or for worse, you changed my life. I've always said that I wasn't good enough for you. Sometimes it was because I felt that way. Sometimes it was because you made me feel that way," he explained. "I never expected us to break up. I really though that if I could make it work with anyone, it was going to be you. It wasn't the fair the way I put all these expectations on you. I always knew that you weren't anything like me. I guess I chose to overlook that because I wanted to be with you more than anything."

She didn't understand how a man could go from feeling like that to shattering her heart into a million pieces. She had loved Johnny deeply, an entirely different feeling than any she had ever had for anyone, even Dillon. Yet, in the end, the brooding mobster had wrecked her just as much as the fallout from her relationship with Dillon had. Everyone had told them that her relationship with Johnny would go down in flames. Her brothers, Tracey, Elizabeth, everyone – they had all been adamantly against her relationship with him because they knew it would spell disaster for her. Now, it was all proving to be true.

"The night that breakout happened at General Hospital, we went through two entirely different things. You were quarantined in the hospital and saw things that I will never be able to understand," he started to explain. "I was stuck with Maxie in a garage, and we were both angry at the world. You and I had been struggling to make it work for a long time, and that night, it just felt like everything came to a head. I saw a side of her that night that I connected to, that I actually liked. We're so much alike – destructive, broken, jaded." He paused as Lulu rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically. "And then everything happened with Robin and we ended up taking care of Emma. Even when she ran into GH after Spinelli, we were working together. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I went through stuff that night that you can't understand either. It changed everything."

"That night changed things for me, too, Johnny. It made me realize how much I loved you. Do you know how terrified I was when I couldn't get a hold of you? I sat with Spinelli in the lobby and obsessed over not being able to reach you. We were both scared out of our minds when you didn't answer your phone and Maxie's car was found abandoned. While you were out there connecting with Maxie and playing the hero, Spinelli and I could have been killed."

"Then why didn't you tell me that? Ever since that night, you've been pulling further and further away from me. It's only when Maxie is around that you show any sense of us still being together, and then, it's like you're only doing it to stake your claim."

"Maybe because I saw what was happening right in front of me. You knew how insecure I was after the two of you had gone to the ball together. I went to you and told you that I was worried about her seducing you. You promised me that it wasn't going to happen, and now you're telling me that it already has. Were you already with her when I went with you to Manhattan? How far as this gone, Johnny?"

Johnny took a deep breath as he shifted on the sofa. "You allowed your boss to pay me $1,000 to go on a date with another girl, Lulu. Do you have any idea how that made me feel? I didn't want to do it, and when I tried to get out of it, you talked me into it. If you really didn't want to push me into Maxie's arms, why would you let Kate treat me like some high-dollar escort?"

"That's not how it was at all, and you know it. You were helping the magazine and me. You've been looking for work, and you made more in those few hours than you could in weeks of doing stuff for Coleman."

"See!" Johnny yelled, his voice echoing into the rafters of the old apartment as he jumped off the couch and spun around to look at Lulu. "That is exactly what I was talking about, Lulu! You are always acting like what I do isn't good enough. At least Maxie doesn't pretend. She tells me upfront what she thinks about me. You just try to turn me into something you want me to be!"

Lulu jumped off the chair after him. "I cannot believe you are turning this all around on me! You have got to be kidding!" she screamed as she got into his face. "I did not make you sleep with Maxie. If you did it because you were insecure or just wanted to prove me right, that's all on you."

"You're right," he agreed, his voice dropping to a more reasonable level. Now was not the time for his temper to flare. "I can own up to it. I turned to Maxie. We turned to each other. I didn't think that it would be anything more than a physical thing, but I started to feel more for her. It's not perfect by any means, but for the first time, that actually feels alright. She doesn't expect me to be anything but me."

"I fell in love with you, Johnny. You were the only guy I ever wanted. I don't know what changed on your end, but I never stopped wanting to be with you. I wasn't trying to change you into someone else because that wouldn't be the man that I fell for."

He shook his head adamantly. "I left my family for you, Lulu. I walked away from the organization and everything else because you wanted me to be a better man. I ignored what my sister – the one person who has always loved me no matter what – said and I tried to deny everything that I am," Johnny told her calmly. "That night at the hospital, I threw around my last name, and Maxie was actually grateful for who I was. Being who I was got Emma the care she needed."

"I told you that I was happy that you were there to help Emma!" she cried. "I just don't like that you have turned yourself into Maxie's hero. You're supposed to be my hero."

"I can't be your hero, Lu," he said. "I won't be. It'd just be another lie."

"Why her?"

"You know why," he answered. "We didn't get together right away. It wasn't like that night happened and I threw myself at her. Maxie didn't do that either, if that's what you're thinking. You and I had been in such different places. You were on me about finding a job worthy of the man you thought I was. We had quit talking, quit fighting, quit loving. We were just going through the motions."

She knew that he was right, but it didn't justify his betrayal. "I would have never done that to you."

"I know," he acknowledged. She wouldn't have been the one to leave him. She had seen what had happened to Logan when she had left him, and he knew that she wouldn't risk putting someone else through that. "Spinelli and Maxie had just gotten into it when she came home one night. We just started knocking back beers, and before I knew it, she and I had passed the line. We didn't sleep together right away, but we eventually did."

"And that's when we quit making love?"

Johnny looked down at his hands guiltily. He had wanted to avoid this conversation altogether, and now he was stuck right in the middle of it. Finally, he nodded silently before looking up to meet her wide eyes. "It was hard enough to kiss you knowing what I was doing. I couldn't sleep with you, too."

"Well, thanks for that," she sneered sarcastically. "Why didn't you just break up with me?"

"Because I loved you."

"Loved?"

"C'mon, Lu, you know that all the good stuff that was here is long gone. It was fading long before that night at General Hospital. I saw what I put you through last summer, and ever since then, I've been fighting to make it up to you. I wanted to be the guy you needed me to be, but I'm never going to be that guy. I'm always going to be a Zacharra. You have this habit of picking the bad boy, and I think that might be your problem. You're a good girl. You deserve a good man. I'm just never going to be that."

Tears streamed down her face, black mascara making trails over her soft skin. She cried unabashedly and didn't make any move to wipe the tears away from her cheek. He deserved to see what he had done to her. "I had the good guy once, Johnny, and I broke his heart. You and I, we're not as different as you think."

"You lied to Dillon because you were in love with him. It wasn't right, but it didn't come from the same dark place that my betrayal has," he pointed out. "I never knew the guy, but I know the things you've told me. He and I couldn't be more different. Dillon tried to fight to be with you in the end, and I was trying to break your heart."

"So that's why you did this? To break my heart?"

"Partly," he confirmed, "but there was more to it. I was looking for an out, Lu, I just didn't quite know that at the time. It was never my intent to leave you. I honestly didn't want you to know. Maxie is the one who told me to be honest, believe it or not. She's the one who has lived with the guilt."

He expected Lulu to start another tirade against Maxie, but she only turned away from him and walked over to the window. "Don't call me Lu."

"Huh?"

"Don't call me that. That's what Dillon called me. You're right. You are nothing like him. I never wanted you to be someone else, Johnny. I loved the two of you for very different reasons at very different times in my life," she said softly. All of her fight was gone. "That's over now. However I felt about you, all the love, it's completely gone."

"Lulu…"

"You should go."

He knew that he should give it one last try and fight for her, but he couldn't find it in his heart to make the effort. Maybe this was exactly what Lulu needed to find a guy worthy of her love. Even if he saw her as immature at times, she still had an incredible capacity to love. Maybe she would finally use that plane ticket and go out to California to see Dillon. Maybe she would meet someone new altogether. Johnny grabbed his coat off the back of the sofa and walked toward the door. He reached for the door knob and turned around to offer his final parting words. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry."

Johnny didn't have the courage to wait for her reply. Instead, he retraced the steps Lulu had taken when she had stumbled upon the betrayal hours before. It was a walk of shame like no other he'd known in his life. With his hung head low, his only comfort was that he wasn't alone in this. As he headed for his car, the one relic Claudia had finally convinced him to take from his former life, he was determined to find Maxie. He just needed to feel like this had all been worth it.

The night was dark and cold as he waited for her, leaning against the hood of his beautiful black sports coupe. He kept vigil outside Harborview Towers, watching as shadows passed in the room he knew to be Spinelli's. He could make out Maxie's pacing figure and Spinelli's hunched one. He knew that he should be wishing that he was up there to support her, but he was really glad for the safe haven of the night sky. He'd already endured one bad fight, and the last thing he wanted to do was go another round with the computer hacker, especially in Jason Morgan's penthouse.

It was only when he saw her shadow flee from the room that Johnny made his move. He ran toward the building and waited for Maxie to come outside. He was almost to her when she stopped beneath a streetlight to catch her breath. He saw her clutch at her chest, and he was immediately worried about her fragile heart. No matter what happened after tonight, he would never forgive himself if something happened to her because of him. Her legs must have given out because he saw her starting to fall just as he leapt in to save her. Maxie tried to be all cool and independent, but she clung to him like a scared little girl as she talked about how she didn't need saving. She said something about how he would feel like this after he had told Lulu, and he told her that the other blonde already knew.

"And how did that go?"

"Well, one of you is probably going to have to look for another place to live."

"Guess I'll be moving back in with Mac," she sighed tiredly as she slumped against him. Johnny led her to the warm safety of his idling car. Tucking her into the passenger seat, he jogged around and slid into the driver seat. He would bring her back to get her car in the morning. "If he hated me hanging out Spinelli, he's really going to hate me being with you."

"Who said we're going to be together?"

She turned to him and stuck out her tongue briefly before allowing a small smile to grace her lips. "Where are you going to stay? I'm not the only one who lost their place to live."

"I'll just stay at the apartment Claud's keeping," he replied as he turned in his seat to look at her. "You know that you can stay with me. You don't have to go back to Mac's."

"We're not living together."

"I wasn't talking about living together," he informed her. "I'm just saying that you can stay with me temporarily until you figure something out."

She moved across the seat so that she could sit next to him while he drove. He moved the car into drive and started toward the street. "We don't have to decide tonight, do we?" Johnny shook his head. "I just want to go to sleep. Take me home."

"And where's that?"

"I'm not really sure," she admitted tiredly, "but for tonight, home is with you."


	9. Chapter 9

Johnny finally ventured into his bedroom after staring out at the city lights for a few hours. Maxie was still asleep in the bed, her blonde hair splayed across the black sheet, giving a stark comparison of dark and light. She had exchanged her designer threads for the comfort of his favorite white button-up shirt. Her makeup had been scrubbed from her face, giving her an angelic glow that he was fairly certain few people ever got to see. His eyes were locked on her sleeping form as he discarded his jeans and changed into a clean tee shirt.

Just as he was about to slip between the sheets beside her, Maxie turned over and caught sight of him in the mirror. She smiled at his reflection. "Hi."

"Hey," he grinned back, rubbing his hand of his dark tresses self-consciously. He felt like he had been caught doing something he shouldn't have been when all he'd been doing was watching her sleep. It wasn't exactly the kind of thing a brooding bad boy like Johnny Zacharra was supposed to do, but then again, he'd always been a rebel. "Feel a little better?"

"Feel a little lonely," she answered as she moved over and peeled back the comforter. "Do you want to talk about tonight anymore? Do you have any questions?"

"Not unless there is something you need to tell me. What happened is between the two of you. It's your friendship with Spinelli, and I won't get in the middle of it unless you want me there," he promised. "As for Lulu, feel free to ask any questions you need to, but I don't really have anything to say. He knows the truth. She knows the truth. You're here with me. That's all I really need to know."

Maxie suspected that wasn't all that Johnny really needed to know, but she wasn't going to push the issue. It was clear that he was where he wanted to be, and she wasn't about to argue given she wanted the same thing. He had told her outside Jason's that he wanted to be there to catch her, even after she had told him that she didn't need saving. She would be lying to herself if she said that she didn't want him to be her hero. It was what she had wanted all along. After seeing him in action the night of the Quarantine with Emma, she had wanted that man to always be on her side.

"You know we're going to have to tell Mac," she informed it. "He is going to hate you."

"To be fair, he already does."

"Oh, well," she shrugged nonchalantly. "Mac is pretty used to not agreeing with my choices. I've been disappointing him pretty much non-stop since I was fifteen."

"Well, I can't promise that he is going to be my biggest fan, but I'll do what I can. I've been told that I can be fairly charming when I want to be."

"Your allure only works on women, Zacharra," she pointed out. "Well, _some_ women."

He scoffed at her feigned resistance to his charm. "Some women like you."

"Maybe," she giggled as he tugged at her hair playfully. "At least Robin will be on our side."

Ever since that night when he had found Robin and Emma in the snow, Johnny had held a special fondness for the two in his heart. Robin was one of the few people in Port Charles who was now able to look past his last name to see the guy that he really was. "I don't really care what I'm up against here. I'm really good at challenges. I got you, didn't I?"

"Do you?"

"I do," he confirmed as he leaned down and kissed her. It was soft exchange, one that held even more meaning that their more tender moments before. It felt like his promise to her. "Besides, it's not like I'm still in my family business. Your dad has to at least respect that about me."

"About that…"

"Maxie, I'm out. I walked away months ago. You don't have to worry."

She held out her hand and shook her head. "That's not what I meant," she assured him. "Look, you left the organization for Lulu, and that's fine if that's what you still want. However, I'm a big girl and I can handle the risks. If you want to go back, I'll deal with it just fine. I don't want you to stay away or deny who you are on my account. I knew who you were when I got involved with you, and that's the guy I want to be with. Whatever choice you make, I need you to know I'll support you."

With Lulu, it had always been about judgment when it came to his family. _Johnny, you're better than that. Johnny, you can do more than just run your family's business. Johnny, you can have a normal life. Johnny, you can escape from your father's clutches._ Maxie, however, was leaving the judgment up to him. She was letting him choose how he felt about being Zacharra and what he wanted to do with that last name. He was enough for her, the good and the bad. He could quit pretending that he was something that he was not.

"I don't know what I want to do."

"Well, when you figure it out, just let me know."

"I will," he promised. "Now, then…" Johnny leaned down over Maxie's tiny body, his palms resting firmly against the mattress on either side of her. He brushed a feather-light trail of kisses over her jaw, pausing only to tug gently at her ear lobe with his teeth.

"Can we not yet?"

He pulled away suddenly to search her wide blue eyes. "I thought this was the whole point of tonight."

"Wait, so you only told Lulu so I'd sleep with you?"

"No!" he snapped angrily as he rolled offer her body and onto his knees. Maxie turned onto her side to face him. "I told Lulu the truth because I wanted to be with you, Maxie. I thought after tonight, you'd finally see that and maybe a relationship could actually be a possibility. But now it's like you don't even want anything to do with me."

She reached for his hand and pressed a kiss to his palm. "Oh, you fool," she sighed. "Come on, Zacharra, I figured you knew by now exactly how I felt. I didn't realize that you needed me to spell it out for you?"

"Maybe I just need my ego stroked a little, Jones," he teased back, feeling at ease by her playfulness. He had never been one that dealt well with rejection, especially when he was risking so much by putting his heart out there for Maxie. She had given him plenty of warning that she would be the death of him, but Johnny couldn't think of a sweeter way to die. "Why don't you tell me what's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

"I want to be with you, but I don't want it to be like it was before we told them. I mean, that was fun and everything, but it was based on a lie," she pointed out. "I want us to do things right. We're hot together, that's pretty undeniable. I definitely don't want to lose that, and I don't want you to suddenly start worshipping me either. I just want us to promise to be honest with each other."

He nodded thoughtfully before reaching down to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "Honesty, I think we can manage that," he agreed. "However, I have a couple of conditions I want to put on the table."

"Such as?"

"Well, first and most importantly, I want us to be equals," he told her. "I never really felt like that with Lulu. There was always someone taking care of the other. We never really managed to get that whole partners-in-crime thing worked out. You and I have a fresh new start in front of us. I want us to start that together."

Maxie had dealt with her share of unequal relationships with Spinelli. As much as she loved her best friend and appreciated his devotion, she always knew that his feelings ran much deeper than hers. The last thing she wanted to do was risk repeating that with Johnny, especially if her feelings were the ones that were deeper. "I'll agree to that," she retorted. "What else?"

"The only other thing that I really need to put out there is my sister. I know that she is hard to get along with, but she is the only family I have that matters. She never managed to get along with Lulu, so I would really like it if you guys could. All I am asking is that you give her a genuine chance. She can be impossible sometimes, but she kind of reminds me of you in that way."

"Trust me, I can get along with Claudia," she proclaimed confidently. The two women were cut from the same rich and luscious fabric. They had an impeccable sense of style, a stubborn streak a mile wide and the unfortunate role as the black sheep of their incredibly screwed-up families. They also had something else very important in common – they cared deeply about the brooding Zacharra prince. "Is that all you got?"

"That's not all I got," he replied suggestively.

"Well, why don't you come over here and give it to me then?" she purred, reaching for his tee shirt to pull him down to her. Johnny covered the length of her body with his, molding his bony hips to her much softer ones. He kissed both of her eyelids closed before moving down to the tip of her nose and the apples of her cheeks. She wet her bottom lip in anticipation just as he dipped to capture her mouth. "God, I've missed being with you like this."

"Me too," he murmured before kissing her again softly. He leaned back onto his heels straddling her body and smiled down at her. "You've always been hot, Jones, but right now, you look absolutely beautiful." Maxie blushed bashfully as she turned her head to the side. She rarely let that side of her shine through, but she was giving it willingly to Johnny tonight. "You in that shirt, that's what I want to come home to every night from now on."

"I think that can be arranged." Johnny started to slowly undo the column of buttons on the shirt. Maxie looked far better in the Armani button-up than he ever had. She shimmied it off her shoulders and sat up for him to toss away to the floor before tugging off his shirt. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she allowed him to pull her into his lap so that they were flesh to flesh. "I want it slow tonight."

While he usually liked his sex like he liked his women – fast and bold – he knew that tonight was different. They weren't just hooking up or sleeping together. Rather, despite their many nights together, this would be the first time they made love. He wasn't sure that he would exactly use that word to describe his feelings for Maxie, there was definitely something tender and soft to them. "I'll make it last as long as you let me."

"Zacharra, you know that I'll be the one to wear you out."

"You never change, Jones, do you?" he taunted as he started to kiss across her collarbone. Her hands tangled in his hair, guiding his every move on the journey down her body. "You're always so cocky."

"Just confident in my abilities."

"So we're really gonna do this?"

Maxie looked into his eyes. She knew that he wasn't just talking about the route this night was going to take in the bedroom. It was about so much more than that now. He was asking if they were really going to try to be together, to give this whole relationship thing a shot. It had been a long time since Maxie had gone there. She had always told herself that it was going to take an amazing man to resurrect her heart. It turns out that she was right, and he was there with her now, willing to give her the beginning she had never quite been sure she wanted.

"It's what I want more than anything in the world."

"Good," he whispered before she leaned up to kiss him deeply. "Me too."


	10. Chapter 10

Johnny had only ever woken up with two women in his arms in his entire life. With all the other girls before Lulu, he had always kicked them out of his bed long before morning came or made up some excuse for while he couldn't stay at their place. There had never been a reason to stay before he had met Lulu on the outskirts of Port Charles. However, it was one aspect of being in a relationship that he had quickly become addicted to. He had come to welcome those quiet moments when he would wake up next to her and just be able to watch her. Everything was so perfect in that silence. The world couldn't touch them.

He felt a similar peace when he woke up that first morning with Maxie, their first official day as being something more than two people living a lie together. However, unlike with Lulu, he couldn't wait for her to wake up. He couldn't wait to see that sexy smile cross her lips or hear what she had to say with that throaty morning voice or to make love to her again until they both just wanted a few more hours of sleep.

Somewhere from across the room, beneath the heaps of discarded clothes they'd lost last night, Johnny could hear the chirp of Maxie's BlackBerry. She sprung immediately from her bed, a customary reaction given the stressful rigors of working for Kate Howard. She rolled her beautiful blue eyes in her head and threw a smile at him as she pressed the button to connect her call. "Hey, Dad," she said warmly as she shut herself into the bathroom for privacy. "Sorry I didn't come home last night; I thought that I would just go back to the apartment."

"Nice try, Maxie," her father chided her. "I went by the apartment this morning on my way to the station, and Lulu said that she hadn't seen you. She looked awful. Did you girls get in a fight or something? You know that you can just stay with me if you need. You don't have to stay at that penthouse with the mobster and his lackey."

"First of all, I wasn't at Jason's," she told Mac. "And how many times do I have to tell you not to call him that? I know that you don't like Spinelli or what he does, but he's still my best friend. We've fought about this enough by now for you to know that I don't respond well to it."

"Sorry," he apologized shortly. He couldn't fathom what his daughters had seen in the weird computer hacker. Georgie had been the first one to hold a candle for the strange boy, something Maxie had adopted in the year since her sister's death. "Well, if you weren't with him, where were you? And don't lie to me, Maxie. If you're going to be an adult, you need to act like one."

Maxie took a deep breath. She had been planning to tell Mac the truth about her relationship with Johnny, but she didn't want to tell him like this. "I was at Johnny's," she admitted. "Well, I'm at Johnny's actually."

"You're where?!?" Mac screamed. "That's worse than Morgan's."

"Dad, I know that we need to talk about this. I was planning on coming to tell you today. Why don't Johnny and I meet you for breakfast at Kelly's? I know that you're going to hate this anyhow, but you should at least hear it from me. You don't have to like it, but he is going to be in my life."

He had heard this defiant tone for most of Maxie's life, but he still couldn't help but want to argue with her. It was his job to protect his little girl. He didn't want to see what happened to Georgie repeated with Maxie. He couldn't lose her too. "I don't want you with him," he informed her matter-of-factly. "We can have breakfast so I can tell you that face to face."

"Dad…"

"He's a Zacharra, Maxie."

"I'm well aware of that," she said. "It doesn't matter. I'm going to be with him."

"I'll see you in a half hour," Mac replied bluntly before hanging up the phone.

Maxie muttered to herself as she huffed out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom. Johnny was sitting up in the bed with the blankets gathered around his waist. He didn't even pretend that he wasn't drinking her bare body in as he leered at her. "So that was my dad." He ignored her as he grabbed her hand and yanked her back toward the bed. She tumbled onto the sheets, giggling despite the tense conversation as he kissed the soft swell between her breasts.

"Did you hear me?"

"Mmhmm," he murmured as he worked his way to her navel, allowing his tongue to swirl over her soft skin. She tasted like vanilla and his sweat, a strangely intoxicating mix. He liked to know that he'd left his mark on her. "Mac was on the phone…" His voice trailed off as he kissed back up her stomach.

"Johnny," she said as she pushed him away gently. "As much as I want to get in this, which I do, I told him that we would meet him at Kelly's in a half hour. He knows about us."

"You told him already?"

She shrugged. "What did you want me to do? I told him that I just went home lat night, but he went by the apartment to check on me. Lulu obviously isn't going to cover for me, so I had to tell him the truth. I'm too old to lie to him about my life. I shouldn't have to apologize for wanting to be with you. I refuse. We're going to go face the music together because I won't have him acting like you're keeping me away from him. If he can't accept this, that's on him."

"C'mon, Jones," he replied with a cocked eyebrow. "You can act all tough with me if you want, but you're going to turn into a little girl when your dad is around. It's the same thing Lulu always does when Luke shows up. She makes all these grand statements about what she is going to say and do, but that falls to the wayside when she's around her dad."

"Well, in case you don't remember, I am not Lulu," she reminded him as she crawled into his lap. She placed her legs on either side of his waist and pressed herself against him for emphasis. "I don't cave to my dad. If anything, I fight harder for the things I want. I figured you knew that by now. I don't take orders from anyone."

Johnny tangled his fingers in her hair and pulled her head back slightly. "Oh, I don't know about that," he whispered seductively. "I happen to know that you like it when I take charge."

Maxie pushed forcefully so that he was laying flat on his back. "It's something we have in common, Zacharra," she pointed out. "I just happen to only let you have control when it's on my terms. You see, even then, I have the upper hand."

There was no way he was going to fight with her when she was like this. "You know that if you keep this up, we're never going to make it in the diner."

"You're right!" she exclaimed as she jumped off him, leaving him naked and very excited. "Get dressed and wear something nice. You need to impress your girlfriend's dad."

"My what?"

Maxie turned around when she realized what she said. She knew that she could either apologize and play it off or she could own it. "Your girlfriend."

"Well, I better pick out something respectable then," he said as he passed by her to go into the bathroom. He dropped a kiss on her forehead before pulling the door shut and starting the shower.

Forty minutes later, a very nervous Johnny was being led to Kelly's by a very exasperated Maxie. She was running late like always, and she knew that Mac was likely going to lecture her. She spotted her father sitting at a table nursing a cup of coffee when she peaked in through the window just outside the entrance.

"Hey." Maxie looked over at Johnny. He reached for her hand and pulled her to him. "No matter what happens in there, it doesn't change how I feel for you. You already fought for me by telling Spinelli the truth. I made a commitment that I was going to make this work with you. We'll just have to find a way to convince your dad to like me. It worked on you."

She offered him a brave smile as she kissed his cheek sweetly. "Thanks for that."

"For what?" he asked innocently.

"Just for being you," she replied before following him into the diner with their hands still clasped. Maxie took the lead as they came upon her father. She hugged her father tightly and moved aside so that Johnny could shake his hand. Mac reluctantly greeted Johnny before sitting back down. "Alright, Dad, let's hear it."

"He's not good enough for you. He's a mobster's son and his life is dangerous," he rambled. He had memorized a list of reasons Maxie should stay away from the mob element that dominated Port Charles. At least with Spinelli, he'd had a little comfort that the hacker wasn't on the front lines. Jason Morgan was known for his skill. Johnny Zacharra was a different breed entirely. His father was certifiably insane. Johnny was as reckless as they came. "I'm scared for your life."

"My biological father is a spy, my mom has dabbled in the same line of work and the father that raised me is a cop," she reminded him. "I've been exposed to danger my entire life, Dad. You're not going to scare me away from Johnny."

"It's not just your safety I'm worried about," he admitted. "He could break your heart."

"I could," Johnny acknowledged as he looked between father and daughter, "or she could break mine."

"Given my track record, Dad, I think that's more likely."

Sometimes he wished he could take Maxie and Robin and just lock them inside his house. No one was ever going to be good enough for his girls, especially not the kind of guys they brought home. He had eventually grown to accept Patrick as part of their family, but he still didn't fully trust him. Mac couldn't ever imagine feeling even remotely the same way about Johnny.

"How could you do this, Maxie?"

"Dad, that's not fair."

"Neither is you putting me through this again," he choked out. He was near tears, a rare feat for the usually stoic, strong man. "I put your sister into the ground after a mobster's son took out his revenge on her for no reason. Diego had been Georgie's friend, and he could still kill her like it was nothing. What if someone else does the same thing to you? People use people as leverage in that world. I can't go through losing another daughter."

"You're not going to lose me," she promised, reaching across the table for Mac's hand. She knew that she couldn't fully make that promise in good faith, but she was going to try. She wanted him to believe her so that she could believe it too. "Johnny isn't anything like Diego. He was a psychopath, sick and demented."

Mac shook his head in disbelief. "Georgie used to defend Diego too," he reminded her. "She used to say what a good guy he was, just misunderstood and pigeonholed by his father. The thing was that Diego was an Alcazar, just like Johnny is a Zacharra. His father is insane."

"I'm not like my mother, am I?" she pointed out. "It's possible to be your own person."

"It's not the same thing, Maxie."

She was surprised when this comment came from Johnny and not her father. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Mac's right. I do come from a different life. I come from a world of darkness, where violence is the norm and the code of decency doesn't exist. The Zacharras are known for claiming what's theirs without any apology. My father is crazy. My sister is tough as nails. I've seen things people should never have to see, like my mother being killed right in front of me. I thank God you don't know what that's like. It sucks and it's hard, but it's who I am."

"I know who you are," she retorted boldly before turning to her father. "I know who he is. Yeah, he's all these things, but he is also someone that would fight for me. He saved my life that night at General Hospital. He's so much like me, Dad. You just don't see it. You don't want to, do you?"

"I will always be grateful for what you did for my daughter and Robin and Emma," Mac told Johnny graciously. "I just want her to be safe."

"With all due respect, sir, that's what I want to," he assured him. "I can't make you any promises that nothing is ever going to happen to her anymore than you can promise me. The only thing I can vow to you is that I am going to protect her. We're just starting out, and we have the entire world against us. But I'm a fighter just like your daughter. I'll fight to keep her, even if I have to fight you."

Mac shook his head sadly as he shifted his gaze back to Maxie. "He's never going to be good enough for you."

"No one is," she replied. He was her father, and the truth was that no man was going to be worthy of loving his little girl. She scooted her chair back and rose to make her leave. "I told you that I would come here to talk to you about Johnny and me. I have done that. I just can't sit here and let you destroy him to me. This is the man that I am going to be with. If you want to be in my life, you'll have to learn to accept it. If you can't, you're going to be a very lonely man."

She didn't make any idle threats or make a big scene. In fact, Maxie had done exactly what she had told Johnny that she was going to do. She had heard her father out, given her side of the story and told him to accept it. There were no childish ploys for attention. Johnny sat stunned as she marched out of the dinner, leaving the two men alone.

"Wow."

"Yeah, that's Maxie for you," Mac sighed. However, despite his tone, Johnny could see the small smile on his lips. It was clear that the police chief was proud of his daughter for her independence and strength. "You better get used to it. I guess I better get used to you, too."

"I'm not going anywhere any time soon."

"Neither am I," Mac promised.

The two men exchanged a long look of mutual understanding. They mind never be on the same side of the law, but they were on the same side when it came to Maxie Jones. Johnny knew that he had some crazy odds against them, but she knew who he was. She had said that all along.

"I should probably go find her."

Mac nodded understandingly. It was the first concession he'd made all morning for the younger man. He rose to meet Johnny's eye level. "If anything happens to her, I will kill you."

It was a chilling threat, one that Maxie heard from the partly opened doors. She knew that it was true, that her father would do anything to avenge his daughter's loss. She had seen that grieving anger firsthand when they lost Georgie.

"Well, that sucked," she mumbled as Johnny wrapped her in hug to warm her shaking body. "I'm sorry that he was like that to you."

"I expected as much," he promised. He looked down at her. "I don't think he'll be having me over for family dinners any time soon, and sneaking through your window is probably out of the question. But I think that your dad and I understand each other. We have the same basic goal in mind – to keep you safe."

"Why would you be sneaking into my window?" she asked, choosing to ignore the rest of it for now. "I thought I was staying with you."

"You're the one who said they didn't want to live with me, Ms. Stubborn," he teased, tickling her sides to elicit a delicious little giggle from her ruby lips. "I invited you to stay with me, but you wouldn't have it."

She wrapped her arms around him and sidled up against him. "But I don't have anywhere to go. I might get all cold out on the streets alone."

"Well, we can't have that, can we?" he asked as he dipped to kiss her. Their exchange was longer and deeper than any other that they had exchanged in public. "In fact, I think I better take you back to the apartment so that I can warm you up right now."

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea," she declared. "Although, you could just take me in the back of your car." His eyebrows shot up at her sultry taunting. "I mean, we haven't done it there yet."

"Jones," he grunted, the anticipation of her body sending shivers up his spine.

She smiled bemusedly at his reaction to her invitation. "Zacharra," she whispered, dragging her fingertip down his chest. "I want you, Johnny. Now."

"Do you want your dad to arrest me?"

Maxie laughed as she started off for the car. Just before she turned the corner out of his sight, she turned and looked back at Johnny. "Of course not," she said, "but if you're really bad, I might let you use handcuffs on me later."


	11. Chapter 11

After hiding out for much of the next three days with Johnny at his apartment, Maxie finally ventured out of the building on a cold and rainy Tuesday morning. Kate was in Manhattan for the week and had closed the office while she was away. It was rare that she took any kind of vacation and had encouraged her assistants to take advantage of it while they could. The only thing Maxie had to do was check messages and forward the important ones to Kate's BlackBerry – something she could do from the comfort of Johnny's bed and Johnny's arms. However, even the two of them were worn out after seventy-two hours of non-stop sex. They would eventually have to deal with the cruel truths of reality. For Johnny, that meant telling his sister about his change in circumstances; Maxie's fate brought her back to a certain mobster's penthouse.

She smoothed an imaginary wrinkle from her black silk skirt as she waited impatiently for someone to let her into Jason's apartment. Maxie had tried to call Spinelli four times since their argument, but he hadn't answered or called her back. He had asked for his space, but Maxie was scared what would happen if she gave him too much of it. She couldn't lose him completely from her life.

"Hey, Maxie," Carly greeted the blonde as she leaned in the doorway of Jason's penthouse. She looked right at home answering the door, as if she belonged there more than anywhere else in the world. "Spinelli's not home."

"Oh," Maxie deadpanned, clearly disappointed. "What about Jason?"

Carly shook her head. "They are out on business this morning. They should be back any minute now if you wanted to come in and wait," she offered, moving to the side to allow the younger woman passage into the living room. Carly had spent much of her weekend listening to Spinelli lament over his best friend. "How are you holding up after the fight?"

"So you know?"

"He told us everything. You know Spinelli," Carly smiled affectionately. Everyone in Jason's life except Sonny had come to appreciate the strange computer hacker. "I know that he'll be really glad to see you, even if he doesn't seem like it. It's clear that he misses you."

"I don't know, I screwed up pretty bad," Maxie laughed humorlessly. In her world, that pretty much qualified as the most under exaggerated statement of the decade. She had done more than screw up. She had broken his heart. "I'm not sure that he'll forgive me."

The older woman was quiet as she walked over to the mantle and picked up a framed photo of herself and Jason before her wedding a few summers ago. "That's the funny thing about best friends, Maxie, they find a way to forgive you," she retorted. She carried the frame with her back to the couch and sat next to her fellow blonde. "I have put Jason through a lot since he met me, more than most men can handle. I always wondered how he stayed by my side, but I never needed to know why. I knew that he loved me."

"Spinelli is the same way. Most people would want to walk away from me, but Spinelli just wants to stay that much more. I didn't mean to hurt him. It was the last thing I wanted to do…"

"Women like us can't help ourselves sometimes, though, can we?" Carly asked. She understood that illogical need that drove Maxie because it was the same one that pushed her into making some very bad decisions. "Everyone knows how Sonny and I got together. I never thought Jason could forgive me but he did. His need to love me was so much bigger than his need to be angry. Spinelli will find his own way to come to terms with it. You just need to let him."

"How's he been?"

"Quiet sometimes, venting others. Jason has been really amazing with him, patient as usual," she revealed. "Morgan came over last night, and the three of them played video games. I think it helped get Spinelli's mind off things. He's hurt by everything, but he's doing okay. You don't have to worry about him too much."

Carly and Maxie made small talk for the next few minutes until Jason and Spinelli returned to the penthouse. Jason was quiet as he returned his gun to the hall closet. It didn't even phase Carly or Maxie. It was something they were both used to. Once his weapon was out of sight, Carly pulled him toward the stairs so they could give Maxie and Spinelli some privacy. Just as he disappeared up the steps, Jason gave Maxie a very pointed look. She understood his intent and nodded her head before he followed Carly on up.

"What are you doing here, Maxie?"

"I just wanted to check on you."

"I told you that I needed time."

She hated the way he was speaking in the first person and how uncharacteristically like himself he sounded in the moment. "I know, and I will give that to you," she agreed. "I just needed to know that you were fine. I know that now. I can go."

Spinelli watched her cross the living room and start out the door before calling out her name. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," she answered as she turned back around "You know that you can ask me anything."

"How come it wasn't me?" he asked. "Why is it never me?"

Maxie looked down at her feet. There was no good answer for that. There was only the truth. "Because even now, as much as I care about you, being in love with you scares the hell out of me, Spinelli," she confessed. "I love you, Spinelli, more than you probably know. That's what makes me know how hard it would be for me to lose you. I broke your heart now, and you don't even have all of me. Can you imagine what it would be like if I did that to you then?"

"Maybe you wouldn't."

"I would," she smiled, amazed by his faith in her even now, "and we both know it."

"So it's not that you don't love me?"

"Honestly, it's because I love you too much," she proclaimed. "I know that sounds like a lie. I know it's hard to believe. With Johnny, it'd suck if I broke his heart or he broke mine, but we would eventually recover. I know that I couldn't get over losing you."

Spinelli smiled sheepishly, clearly touched by her words in spite of himself. "I don't know if I really should believe it, but I'm going to anyway," he replied with a slight chuckle. "And I'm going to find a way to be alright with this, I promise. I meant what I told you the other night, I could never hate you."

"So you'll call me when you're ready?"

"Yes, Maxamista, the Jackal will call you."

Meanwhile, as Maxie and Spinelli came to terms with the change in their friendship, an anxious Johnny sat across from a very suspicious Claudia on the patio at Sonny's mansion. He still didn't feel comfortable coming out here to visit his sister, but she seemed content as they ate their brunch in silence. After all he had gone through with his new brother-in-law in the past, he couldn't help but be on edge. He was waiting for someone to poison his coffee or throw him in a padded room any minute now. It was all a little unnerving.

"Alright, John, what's up?"

"Huh?" he asked, shaking himself out of his daze. "Nothing, just you know."

"Nope, not buying it," she retorted. She knew her brother. He was definitely hiding something from her, and whatever it was, he clearly thought she wasn't going to be happy about the news. "Oh, God, you didn't propose to Lulu, did you? Is she knocked up? It'd be just like that brat to get pregnant on purpose to hold onto you."

"Lulu isn't pregnant," Johnny assured her. "In fact, we kind of broke up."

"Kind of?"

"Decisively. Lulu and I are finished," he confirmed. "It happened a few nights ago."

"And you're just telling me?!?" Claudia cried, her face bright with excitement. She had been waiting months for the demise of a relationship that should have never begun in the first place. "John, this is great!" She paused and noticed the way her brother rubbed his chin, his sure-tell sign of nerves. "There's something more."

"We broke up because I cheated on her."

Claudia shook her head and smirked. She had always known that her brother was more like her than he wanted to admit. "With you?"

"Maxie Jones."

"And is this little affair ongoing or was it just a fling?"

"It's not an affair."

Her jaw dropped as a delighted smile lit her eyes. "You like her."

"Shut up."

"You like someone that you knew I would actually like," she teased. She had tried to pay Maxie last year to sleep with her brother as a way to break up his relationship with Lulu. After the whole debacle with Logan, she had actually come to respect the blonde. She had kept her mouth shut about the entire murder thing, staying loyal to both Lulu and Johnny during the course of the investigation and in the aftermath of Lulu's breakdown. "I like her, John, you can relax."

"Good 'cause she's kind of living in your apartment," he admitted with a cocky grin. Claudia always prided herself on being able to read him, but she hadn't picked up on the secret he had been hiding with Maxie for this long. "I hope you don't mind, but I don't think either of us is exactly welcome at the old place she was sharing with Lulu."

Claudia shrugged before taking a long sip of her orange juice. "My place is your place," she reminded him. She had bought it right after she married Sonny as a way to escape if she needed to get out of the house. Since things between her and her husband were going along swimmingly, she hadn't been there in nearly a month. "Are you okay with everything, John? Does she make you happy?"

He offered her a small smile and nodded his head. "Things are good with Maxie, much easier than they ever were with Lulu. We make sense in a way that I never really did with Lulu, you know? We understand each other. She doesn't need to make me into someone I'm not. It's not something I was looking for, but I guess sometimes these things just find you."

"How'd Spinelli take it?"

The hacker had quite an impression on Claudia when she had been quarantined with Spinelli and Jason at the penthouse. He had deemed her the Vixenella, a nickname that she wore proudly. It fit her without being disparaging or condemning. He seemed to like her as much as she liked him too.

"Not well," he admitted. "Maxie's been pretty upset about it. She went over there to see him now, actually. We're supposed to meet up for dinner tonight to compare notes. She was kind of nervous about telling you after the way things went with her dad."

"Well, you can tell her that I approve," she told him, giving him her blessing. He might not need it but Johnny wanted it. "Just be thankful you don't have to tell our father."

Johnny's solace through all of this had been that his father was locked behind bars where he couldn't terrorize Maxie or use her as a pawn. She was safe from having to endure his games. "I'd like you to spend some time with her. I don't know where it's going, but I think she's going to be in my life for awhile. It'd be nice if you knew her."

"You know I'm never going to be the type to make your girlfriend my best friend, but I can make an effort for you," she pledged. "We can go shopping or something. At least that girl has some taste, which is a lot more than I can say for Lulu."

"Now you just sound like Maxie," he rolled his eyes. "It's not like I am asking you to double date with us anyhow."

"Ha, can you imagine?"

He shivered as he tried to imagine making polite small talk with Sonny over dinner. The two of them would probably go through a bottle of scotch in record time. "No, I cannot."

"I should ask you to spend time with Sonny. He is family after all."

"Claud…" Johnny groaned. He refused to see that man as his brother-in-law, even if his sister was set on staying married to him. "It's just not going to happen."

"I was kidding, John," she assured him softly. She smiled at her brother in a way that she reserved only for him. There would never be another person in this world that would get to see her like this. "You seem happy. It's been awhile since I saw you like that. I'm glad."

A slight blush crept up his throat. "Yeah," he allowed. "I am."

"So does this mean I can be a bitch to Lulu now?"

"Yes because my relationship with her clearly prevented that before!"

Claudia feigned shock. "I was always polite to her, John," she insisted. "It's not my fault that she took everything the wrong way. Maybe if she was a little more personable, she wouldn't have such a hard time dealing with others."

He couldn't help but laugh at his sister's ridiculous attempt at acting innocent. "Just stay away from her. After Maxie moves out, it's what I am planning to do," he replied. "The two of them still have to work together. I don't think I can convince Maxie to quit her job as much as she loves the magazine. I just think we're all better off if the interaction is kept to a minimal."

"I could take care of that for you," she offered. "Sonny has plenty of money, and I'm sure he'd appreciate if I had a pet project to keep my mind busy. I could start a magazine and put Maxie in charge of stuff. It'd be a nice way to stick it to Kate, too."

"Well, I'm pretty sure that staying married to Sonny and rubbing it in her face is damage enough when it comes to Kate," he pointed out. "As for the magazine, Maxie likes working for Kate. It's a good fit for her. She'd be furious with me if I messed it up for her."

"Ugh, fine!" Claudia relented, crossing her arms over her chest in disappointment. "You never let me have any fun."

He rolled his eyes again and leaned back in his chair. It had been too long since he had just spent time with his sister, and he hadn't quite realized how much he had missed her. He had plenty of time before he had to meet Maxie for dinner, and he couldn't think of a better way to spend the day than hanging out with Claudia. "I'll tell you what," he suggested. "I'll listen to you make fun of Lulu for the next half hour."

Claudia smiled devilishly in anticipation. "Do you have any idea how much I love you, John?"

"Some idea," he grinned back, "and I love you, too, Claud."

She reached across the table and patted his hand before settling back to get comfortable. "Now, can we talk about those boots? And the way she walks. Seriously, John, it's like watching a horse…"


	12. Chapter 12

"Do we really have to do this?"

Maxie looked over at her boyfriend (it still felt strange to think of Johnny as that) and rolled her eyes before grabbing her purse off the small table just inside the entryway of his apartment. She had been living out of her suitcase for the past week, and her fashion choices were becoming seriously limited with each passing day. While she usually prided herself on being able to put together combinations that made it appear that she never wore the same thing twice, it was hard to pull it off with a handful of clothes. They had been delaying the inevitable as long as they could, but today was the day they were going to have to return to the scene of the crime. She was willing to face the music – and Lulu – if it meant restocking her wardrobe with the designer garb she so coveted.

"Unless you want me to turn into that bag lady outside the bus stop on Seventh, I think it's a good plan that you accompany me back to the apartment," she answered as she waited for him to grab his car keys and a freshly made cup of coffee to go. "I offered to go by myself, but you were the one who insisted on coming with me. If you're just going to complain the rest of the day, you can stay here. I've handled Lulu plenty of times on my own in the past. I can do it again."

Johnny shook his head as he followed her to the elevator and down into the parking garage. They slipped into his car and waited for the chilly interior to warm up. "I don't really think it's fair that I send you in there to deal with it alone. Besides, we're all going to run into each other eventually. Port Charles isn't that big of a town."

"Definitely not," Maxie agreed. Johnny pulled the car out of his assigned space and emerged from the dim garage into the bright morning sun. She had been dreading this day since that night outside Jason's penthouse. It was a miracle that she had been able to avoid Lulu this long. Kate would be back in a few days, and they were going to have to be in the same office for at least eight hours a day five days a week. The first time they saw each other after the break-up could not be at Crimson. "Maybe she won't be home."

"It's eight on a Sunday morning, Jones," he reminded her. It wasn't that he hadn't considered and prayed for the possibility too. He just knew that they had to deal with reality rather than operate off wishful thinking. "We'll just get in there and pack up some stuff. We can come back another time and get the rest of the stuff out. I'm sure you can hire someone to do it or something."

"I still need to figure out what I am going to do about my living arrangement," she sighed, looking out the window with a furrowed brow. As much as she liked playing house with Johnny, it was too soon for them to be living together. The last thing either of them needed was for the other to cramp the other's style. She loved spending time with him, but she also missed being alone. They were both used to having their own space. She was still young and needed a situation where she could be with him when she wanted and away from him when she didn't.

He looked at her sideways before making a right turn a few blocks from her building. "You know that you are welcome to stay with me as long as you need to. And just so you don't freak out, I am not asking you to live with me," he replied, reading her mind. Like Maxie, he had enjoyed having this time to get to know her on a different level, but he liked being able to hang out alone when he needed to decompress. "We'll figure something out."

The rest of the ride was silent until Johnny pulled his car into Maxie's assigned space. She turned her gaze to the historic building and chewed on her bottom lip anxiously. She had been so excited when she had moved into the apartment, feeling like such an adult to be living on her own for the first time. It had taken some time to get used to living with Lulu, but she had actually grown to like having her as a roommate. It sometimes felt like living with Georgie again. Maxie wondered not for the first time what her sister would think of what she had done and of her relationship with Johnny. She probably wouldn't approve but would try to get along with the mob prince anyhow. She would wonder if Maxie had done it to avenge Dillon's affair with Lulu while he was still married to Georgie and would believe her sister when she promised that it was not. Most of all, Georgie would be with her now, holding her hand when she was too scared to get out of the car and own up to what she had done.

"Jones, you okay over there?"

Maxie managed a small smile as she looked over at Johnny. "I'm fine."

"What were you just thinking about?"

"My sister," she answered softly. Johnny had heard a lot about Maxie's life, but she still hadn't opened up to him much about her dearly departed sibling. He hadn't really known Georgie all that well, only through the few times he'd seen her around the diner where she'd been a waitress. She had always seemed so innocent and kind, the kind of girl that guys fall in love with without her ever knowing it. Everyone always spoke highly of the younger Jones girl, and it was clear that Maxie held the same sort of adoration. "She would be disappointed in me."

"Don't say that."

"She would have been," Maxie shrugged. "The truth is that she would have been right. I didn't do the right thing here, Johnny. I didn't do it on purpose, but that doesn't make it okay either. I could have stopped myself. I could have taken myself out of the equation. I didn't really try to stop it. I didn't want to."

He reached across the seat and tilted her chin so that her eyes met his. "You weren't alone in this, Jones," he reminded her. "I could have stopped myself but I didn't. I made a conscious decision to pursue it. It might not have been right, but it's the choice I made. It's the one I wanted to make. Your sister might not like the choice you made; I can't really say. The one thing I can say with some kind of certainty is that Georgie would have wanted you to be happy. She would have been glad that you were honest about your decisions and that you're living the life you were meant to live. You can feel guilty about a lot of things but don't feel guilty about that."

"Can you do me a favor?" Maxie asked. Johnny nodded as he moved his palm over to cup her cheek. "Whenever I get down on myself and start to question all the choices I've made, can you remind me of that? I have a feeling I might need to hear it a lot."

"I'll say it so often that you'll get sick of hearing it," he promised before leaning across the console to reassure her with a kiss. She pressed her forehead to his when he pulled away, her fingertips still resting on either side of his face. Maxie wanted to stay like this forever, wrapped up in a moment where nothing else could hurt her. "It's time, Maxie."

She grumbled to herself as he pulled away from her completely and climbed out of the car. Johnny waited for her at the bumper, reaching for her hand and entwining their fingers as they headed into the building. "I haven't even asked but how are you holding up? This probably isn't easy for you either."

"It's not, but this isn't really about me," he answered. "I mean, it is what it is. I can feel uncomfortable and awkward. I'll deal with it. It's really more about making this okay for both of you. I know how much I hurt her, and I know what you lost by choosing me. You risked two friendships. You stood more to lose."

Maxie knocked once on the apartment door before letting herself inside. She was surprised when she saw how messy and cluttered the living room was. Johnny gasped slightly behind her, stopping in the doorway to take in the empty food cartons and clothes that littered the floor. The place had always been immaculate before, but it was clear that Lulu's inner slob had come out in Maxie's absence. Maxie padded over to the couch and shook a sleeping Lulu from her deep slumber. Her unkempt blonde hair was tangled over her eyes as she muttered incoherently. Maxie shook her again before picking up a pair of empty beer bottles from the coffee table.

"Lulu, what the hell have you done to our apartment?"

Lulu sat up, wiping at her mouth with the back of her hand. She peered up at her roommate through her mess of ringlets, her eyes unable to focus in the midst of a very menacing hangover. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Getting some stuff," Maxie answered. "Lulu, seriously, what happened here?"

"Oh, we just had a party," she grumbled as she laid back down, pulling a blanket over her face to block out the sunlight. "It got a little wild, but Lucky was able to smooth everything over. I guess the neighbors downstairs must have called the cops or something. It finally paid off having a cop for a brother."

Wild partying had never really been Lulu's thing, save for that one Halloween after the abortion when she had gotten completely out of control at a party. Maxie yanked the afghan off Lulu's face and stood in front of her with her hands on her hips. "This place is a wreck. You know that we have to pay for any damage. It's in our lease agreement!"

"It's in your lease agreement," Lulu reminded her. She had never formally signed the contract, something she had very consciously remembered when she had invited the group of frat guys she'd met at the liquor store near PCU. "There are only a few holes behind the bathroom door and a burn hole in the hallway carpet. I think we got most of the stains out of the carpet in your room."

"My room?!?" Maxie hollered incredulously. She stalked past the couch, leaving Johnny alone in the living room with Lulu. Throwing open the door, she was shocked to see Spinelli asleep in the middle of her bed. "Spinelli?" The computer hacker turned over in his sleep, ignoring her if he was awake enough to hear her voice. She tried again to no avail before pulling the comforter off her bed completely. "Get up!"

Spinelli tumbled onto the floor in a disheveled mess. "What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here? In my bed?"

"The Blonde One had a party. The Jackal consumed a few too many beverages of the alcohol persuasion and was too incapacitated to drive back to the Casa de Stone Cold," he answered, his voice thick with last night's party. "The Blonde One passed out on the sofa, so the Jackal thought that he would just take his slumber in Maxamista's room since she had not returned here in many days."

"Whatever," she said dismissively before kneeling to look at the faded stains of red wine on her bedroom floor. "This is going to cost me a fortune."

"Fortunately for you, the Mob Prince should be able to cover any damages incurred by the Blonde One and her boisterous buddies," he reminded her as he reached for his hoodie a few feet from him. He pulled it over his head before crawling out of her bedroom in search of some much needed orange soda.

A confused Johnny passed him when he came into Maxie's room, shutting the door quietly. "What the hell did we walk in on? It's like some alternate universe."

"What'd she say?"

"She hates me. She hates you. We need to get your stuff and get out. You know, the usual."

"Fabulous," Maxie shook her head. She pulled another of her suitcases out of her closet and began to toss random clothing into it. "Can you fill that bag over there with as many shoes as you can? I just want to get my stuff and get out of here. I thought I was ready for this, but I'm not."

The two of them spent the next fifteen minutes packing three suitcases and two shopping bags full of whatever they could grab. Johnny headed down to the car to load two of the suitcases while Maxie shoved a few last-minute items into the last bag. While he was gone, Maxie had heard the apartment door slam again, likely signaling Spinelli's departure. That meant that she was alone with Lulu, something that was confirmed seconds later when the other blonde appeared in her doorway.

"You know you're a bitch, right?" Lulu asked matter-of-factly. "Like, I always thought that before, but I actually started to see this different side of you when you started hanging out with Spinelli. I thought that if anyone could see good in you that it would be him and he found it. You and I managed to get past everything, even you trying to seduce my boyfriend _again_ last summer. I never even thought that we would be back here and you would be sleeping with the man I loved. Not after Logan."

Logan Hays would always way heavily on Maxie's mind because she knew she had played a role in his downfall. However, she would not carry the burden of his death on her shoulders because that wasn't her fault. "We didn't plan it, Lulu. You know how these things just happen," Maxie said without stopping packing. "What we did was wrong, I won't deny it. However, you've been there, too. You broke up Georgie and Dillon. You got with Logan when things with Dillon weren't quite figured out. In fact, you got with Johnny when things with Logan weren't even really over. You go from one relationship to the next, thinking about only yourself. Johnny and I could have lied about it longer. We could have hidden it for months."

"Am I supposed to be grateful that you actually told the truth?"

Maxie put down her cashmere cardigan and turned to her roommate. "You don't have to be anything, Lulu," she retorted gently. "Look, what we did was wrong, and I am sorry that it happened like it did. However, things with you and Johnny weren't as strong as you like to pretend if it felt apart so easily. We've all made mistakes here, including you. Fighting about it and tearing each other down isn't going to fix anything. Let's just figure out how we're going to work together and leave it at that. You can stay in the apartment if you want. I will find somewhere else to live. Other than at the office, our paths don't need to cross."

"Actually, you can have this place," Lulu offered haughtily. "Spinelli said I could stay with him at Jason's."

"You're going to live with Jason?"

Lulu nodded, knowing that she had tugged a little on Maxie's jealous heartstrings. It wasn't that Maxie really wanted to live with Spinelli. She just didn't want anyone else to take her place in his life. "Yeah, you know I don't really have anywhere else to go so he just sort of offered. We've been spending a lot of time together. I forgot what a great guy he is! It's just like it used to be when we were still best friends. Given a little more time, I think we can get back there."

Maxie knew the game that Lulu was playing and she wasn't going to give in. Even if it killed her to think about her best friend confiding in someone else like he had her, she would be happy for him if it was what he needed. Spinelli's joy was far more important than her jealousy. "I'm glad that Spinelli has a friend."

"No, you're not."

"If you're genuine in your friendship with him, then I am happy for him," Maxie replied. She wasn't going to stoop to that level. Her usual defense mechanism would be to act just as snarky, but she was above that now. Spinelli had actually helped get her there. "Honestly, though, if you're just using him to get back at me, be careful. He's been through a lot, and I know that is my fault. He just doesn't deserve to pay for what I've done wrong."

"No, you deserve to pay."

Maxie looked at the framed photograph of herself with Spinelli the night of her birthday at the hospital. The book he had given her that night was her most prized possession. "Trust me, even if you don't thing I have, I already am."

With those final words of departure, Maxie pulled her suitcase after her and slung the shopping bags over her shoulder. She didn't look back at the apartment forlornly or offer any other apologies to Lulu. She had come to say what she needed to say and gotten the things she needed to have. After today, she really didn't care if she repaired her friendship with Lulu. Some things are beyond repair. The only relationship she needed to work on was the one she had with Spinelli. Like Mac, Robin and now Johnny, he was one of the few people that really mattered to her.

Johnny found her waiting for him outside the elevator. They silently loaded everything onto the lift and rode down to the lobby. He carried the bags wordlessly while she wheeled the suitcase behind her. When everything was loaded into his sedan, Johnny wrapped Maxie in a tight hug. "You did good up there, Jones."

"Promise me that this will all be worth it."

"I can't do that. I don't want to make you any promises I'm not sure I can keep," he replied. "I spent a long time lying to the woman I loved because I wanted to make us both believe in a future that I knew we would never have. I don't know what is going to happen with you and me, Jones, but I won't play pretend. All we have is right now, and in this moment, I know that it's worth it."

"You're getting soft on me, Zacharra. What happened to the dangerous and emotionally unavailable rebel? Where is my mob prince?"

"Oh, he's still here," he promised her with a chuckle, "but I think right now you just need this."

"And after you're done being all sweet and concerned?"

"I'll go back to being selfish and dark," he promised.

She smiled up at him crookedly. "I like that I get to have both of those guys."

"You have all of me, Maxie."

The statement was genuine and sweet, completely and uncharacteristically filled with a kind of emotional honesty that neither of them was really used to. There was a lot of unspoken promise in the statement, almost negating everything he had said about making statements about the future earlier. However, like he had said, all they had was right now. They had this moment, and in this moment, she had all of him. He had all of her. For now, that was enough.

"And you got me, Johnny," she murmured in return. "You have all of me, too."


	13. Chapter 13

"Uh, Johnny, right there!" Claudia stopped in the hallway when she heard Maxie's grunted exclamation from inside her apartment. John had invited her to lunch that morning, but it sounded like he must have forgotten. She knew that she was running a little behind but not long enough to warrant a quickie. She couldn't help but wrinkle her nose in disgust as she plugged her ears. "Yeah, just like that!"

"Seriously, Jones, I am not moving this couch another time so you better be sure this time," Johnny grumbled in response. Claudia suppressed a laugh and silently thanked whatever higher being that was up there for watching out for her. She also had to chuckle to herself to hear her powerful and spoiled younger brother being ordered around by a petite blonde whose weapons of choice were black liquid eyeliner and her biting vocabulary. "Alright, are you satisfied yet?"

"Sorry, I just want it to look perfect for your sister. I know I shouldn't be nervous but I kind of am. This is like you meeting my dad or something. I guess I technically know Claudia, but she's not paying me to sleep with you this time. In fact, she probably doesn't want to hear about that..."

"You're right, I don't," Claudia announced as she let herself into the apartment. John dropped the blanket he had had been holding and came around the sofa to embrace his older sister. Maxie smiled in amusement as he became like a small child right in front of her eyes. She saw the doting look the two siblings exchanged, a look that could only defined as unconditional love and mutual admiration. "I like what you've done to the place, Maxie. It looks a lot better than the bachelor pad John had set up last time I was here."

Maxie smiled appreciatively at the brunette. She was used to being around powerful women; after all, she worked for Kate Howard. However, Claudia Zacharra-Corinthos commanded an entirely different kind of respect. "I hope you don't mind me making a few changes. It just wasn't quite livable the way he had it."

"Oh, I know, my brother can dress but he is definitely a lost cause when it comes to interior design."

"Hey, I am standing right here," Johnny reminded her, looking between his sister and his girlfriend. He couldn't believe how well they were getting along. They were already on the same side when it came to teasing him. "I guess I should get going before you guys rip me apart entirely."

"Probably," Maxie agreed with a mischievous smile. "Actually, I made reservations for us at the Metrocourt in a half hour, so we should probably get out of here too." Claudia nodded as Maxie kissed Johnny briefly. "I'll see you tonight for dinner, right?"

He nodded dutifully before going to hug his sister again. "Already whipped," Claudia whispered into his ear, eliciting a sheepish smile from her brother. She tweaked his cheek affectionately before following Maxie out the door. "What exactly are you up to today anyhow?"

"I'm going to see Lulu."

"And you're okay with that?" Claudia asked Maxie.

Maxie shrugged nonchalantly. "I don't have anything to worry about," she declared confidently as she smiled fondly at her boyfriend. She truly didn't have an ounce of anxiety about his trip over to see Lulu. She understood the need to make amends, to have a real sense of closure in a relationship that had meant a lot to him. "Johnny chose me. He wants to be with me now, not her."

The two women left the apartment for the hotel, ready for a full day of lunch and shopping. The limousine ride across town was filled with polite small talk for the first few minutes until Claudia got serious. "Okay, so I've made no secret about the fact that I didn't like Lulu. She was a brat who had all these expectations for John that were never going to be realistic. More than anything, she made him doubt who he was, and I will not put up with that," she told Maxie. "Johnny seems to believe that you understand who he is and that is the person you want to be with. I come with the territory. I will protect my brother at all costs. If you hurt him in any way, I will make sure you pay."

"I got it."

"Listen, Maxie, I'm serious," Claudia warned her. "I won't watch him go through this again."

"Seriously, I understand, I had a younger sister. I get the need to protect someone. Things might not be perfect between Johnny and me, but I'm not Lulu," she pledged. "I'm not all innocent and naïve about what he is capable of or where he comes from. It's up to Johnny how he wants to live his life and if he wants me in it."

Claudia nodded in approval. This was a blonde that she just might be able to get behind. There were very few people she could ever deem good enough for her brother, but Maxie Jones may just have the makings of her future sister-in-law. It was still a disturbing thought, one that could only be quenched by expensive liquor. "Want a drink?"

"A single malt scotch," Maxie ordered. She had always preferred more feminine drinks before she started hanging out with Johnny, but his taste in alcohol had started to rub off on her. He always kept it around the apartment, a much-needed treat at the end of an especially long day. They'd share a tumbler in bed between rounds, and she loved how she could taste it on his lips hours after he'd consumed the last drop. Claudia handed her the crystal glass, which was engraved with the familiar Corinthos crest. "Nice."

"You know Sonny," Claudia smiled. Maxie saw the sparkle in her dark eyes, the way she couldn't help but light up a little at the mention of her husband. "I keep telling John that you guys will have to come out to Greystone for dinner or something, but I think he's still a little spooked by Sonny. Given everything they've gone through, I guess it's to be expected. It's just that he's going to be in my life for awhile. We'll never be a big happy family, but I would like it if my husband and my brother could stand to be in the same room."

"I'm fairly certain that if he knew how much it meant to you, Johnny would suck it up and come anyhow. He never seems to be able to say no to you for very long. Your influence on him is very clear," Maxie complimented her. She really did respect the close bond the two siblings shared. She envied that family connection, the one she lost the minute she lost Georgie. "And if you can't convince him, I could probably work on it. I have a very powerful sense of persuasion."

Claudia downed the rest of her glass before refilling it with Johnnie Walker. "Yeah, I don't think that'll be necessary," she assured Maxie uncomfortably. The limo pulled up outside the hotel, but Claudia didn't feel hungry. Between thoughts of her brother's sex life and the scotch she'd just drank, she really didn't want to sit through a meal. "What do you say if we ditch our reservations and jump straight to the shopping? I heard that Wyndham's just got a new shipment of shoes in, and I really need to find a new pair of red stilettos."

Maxie didn't even have to think as she accepted the invitation. Shopping was her lifeline, and shoes were her nutrition. Mac had always complained about how many pairs she had crammed into her closet when she lived at home, a trend that was continuing now that she was staying with Johnny. "Who needs food when you can get shoes?" she asked with a wide smile. There really was nothing better than finding the right pair of heels. "Besides, we can make them get us dessert and champagne while we try on stuff. It's the best of both worlds."

The two women exchanged an excited smile before Claudia ordered her driver to take them to Port Charles' favorite upscale department store. As she sat back in the plush leather seat, Claudia made peace with Maxie's place in her brother's life. It was clear that she had the spine it took to live in their world, and more importantly, she seemed to make her younger sibling truly happy. They might never be best friends, but they could coexist peacefully in Johnny's life. Claudia had never really had a good girl friend and they could go shopping together. Between tricky mirrors and sales girls that suck up to her, Claudia could really use someone to tell her the truth about how she looked in things.

While the girls were making their way toward their final shopping destination, Johnny was tapping his fingertips idly on the bar at the Haunted Star. He still held stake in the defunct casino, one of his last ties to anything related to Lulu. He had plans to transfer ownership back to Tracey and Luke as soon as they could afford to buy him out. He'd bought half the place when he was looking for legitimate holdings, but now that his situation had changed, he didn't need it anymore. Maxie would find out about his new plans to get back into the business tonight, but in the mean time, he just needed to get through the next few minutes with his ex-girlfriend.

"Sorry I'm late," Lulu mumbled as she threw her purse on the bar. She went around to the other side and poured herself a tall Jack with Coke. She knocked back half of it in one gulp before coming back around to sit next to him. "I don't have a lot of time so can we make this quick?"

Johnny nodded politely, biting his tongue at her rudeness. He had to keep reminding himself that it was justified and that she had every right to treat him like this. He had broken her heart and turned her back into the cynical and jaded girl he'd picked up on the outskirts of town. She was right back to being angry at the world and throwing fits like everyone was to blame but her. Johnny might have been the one to act initially, but he knew they hadn't been happy. She just felt the need to punish him for not letting her be the one to walk away first.

"I want you to stay in the apartment. I will pay Maxie's rent until you can get another roommate if you want one or for until her lease runs out," he offered. "It's the least I can do."

"I don't really care what you want, Johnny."

He pinched the bridge of his nose in a vain attempt to suppress the headache forming behind his eyes. "Look, Lulu, I know that you are angry at me, and that's fine. I can't do anything to change that. I apologized and really that's all I got," he admitted. "However, the one thing I will say to you is that you wanted me to get out of the mob. You didn't want to be apart of that world. Going to live with Jason Morgan isn't exactly the way to stay out of it. Don't make a decision that you'll regret just because you're mad at me."

"This has nothing to do with you."

"Fine, whatever you say," he sighed. "I made the offer. I know it's not a lot, but it's my way of trying to make it up to you. If you want to live with Jason, be my guest. I am just letting you know that there is an alternative out there if you want to take it."

"I don't want to owe you anything."

He shook his head dismissively. "You wouldn't," he assured her. "Just think of it as me paying for Maxie's part. I can make sure the money comes from her if you would be more comfortable with it."

As if anything was going to make this easier on her. Lulu couldn't believe how emotionally unaware the man could be sometimes. He was much more like her father than she wanted to admit. "Where are you going to get that money? You don't have a job except for the scams you're running for Coleman now that Kate stopped paying you to hang out with your girlfriend. You can't afford the apartment."

"Don't worry about it."

Lulu realized immediately where the money was gong to come from. "You're getting back in?"

"Like I said, don't worry about it," he repeated. "Do you want the money or not?"

"I cannot believe you, Johnny," she shook her head sadly. "You worked so hard to get out, and now, you're just going to get right back in it. How could you be so stupid?"

"My reason for getting out just doesn't seem to matter anymore," he snapped back spitefully. He watched Lulu recoil at his biting words, setting off a twinge of guilt in his heart. "I'm sorry, Lulu, that was out of line."

"It was honest," she retorted. "You were always going to go back; it was only a matter of time. You wouldn't have let me stop you, no matter how much you claimed to love me. Maxie hasn't asked you to stay away yet, but she will. Just wait until the first time someone threatens her or she has to be tailed by a guard…"

"Jason already has her followed, has for months," he pointed out. "Maxie knows what my life is like, in case you have forgotten. Her sister was strangled by a mobster's son. She was kidnapped by Luis Alcazar when she was younger. Her parents have worked to bring down people like my family long before she was born. There are about a million reasons she should stay away from me, but she doesn't care about any of them. She knows me in a way that I don't think you ever really did."

"Well, isn't she just a martyr, so honorable in her devotion for you?" Lulu rolled her eyes. "Thanks for the offer, Johnny, but I don't want your money. I can stay in the apartment on my own with the allowance the Quartermaines are giving me again. I just want you to stay out of my life, and I will stay out of yours. Despite what you think, I really did love you. I still do in some ways, I guess. I hate what you did to me, but I still want you to have a good life…even if it is with her."

Johnny stood up and hugged Lulu for a moment, knowing that it would be the last time he ever held her. This was the closure he had come to get, the ending that they both needed. "I'll see you around, Lulu."

"You too," she waved before returning back to her drink. She turned and looked at him over her shoulder. "Hey, Johnny?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry that I made you think you weren't good enough," she apologized. "That was never the case. You juts weren't…"

"Good for you," he answered for her. "I know that now. I'm sorry too."

"But she is, isn't she? Good for you?"

He nodded thoughtfully, "Maxie is the life I think I was meant to live."

"And I was just the road that got you there."

"No," he disagreed, "you will always be more than that, Lulu."

"Thanks for that," she smiled, the first one she had sent his way since the night they'd broken up. "Hey, I am going to be out of town next week if you guys want to move out her stuff without me being there."

"Where are you going?"

"I think it's about time I take that trip to California."

Johnny understood now where she was headed and what she was going to do. "Have a safe trip."

"Thank you."

"Goodbye, Lulu," he murmured as he took her in one last time.

She held his gaze for a moment and smiled again. "Goodbye, Johnny."


	14. Chapter 14

Johnny wasn't sure why he had agreed to the meeting, but the urgency of the man's voice on the phone had led him the table in the darkest corner of Jake's. It was nearly midnight, and Maxie was likely asleep at home in the bed that he had quickly become to call theirs. She hadn't wanted to let him out of the house, especially after he refused to tell her who she was meeting. They had had a long dinner after her day out with Claudia. The two most important women in his life seemed to have a good time together, and if the dozen or so shopping bags littering his living room were any indication, their credit cards had gotten a good workout in the process. He would have complained about the hormone overload had it not been for an inconspicuous pink striped bag from a certain lingerie store. Apparently, Maxie had picked something out for him on her shopping spree too.

The only thing he wasn't particularly happy about was Maxie's newfound mission to get him to have dinner with Sonny and Claudia. He could hardly imagine the four of them suddenly transforming into a tight-knit family, something he reiterated repeatedly during Maxie's conversation at dinner. However, she had refused to listen to him, reminding him that he hadn't seen anything more in her other than an annoying, shallow hot chick just two months before. While he highly doubted that he was going to find a best friend in Sonny, he supposed he should make an effort for Claudia. It was clear that his sister was intent on staying married to the man, and it would be a very long life if he couldn't be in the same room as his brother-in-law.

There would be time to deal with that in the future, but for now, he raised his hand in greeting as the person he had been waiting for showed up. "Hey, over here!" Johnny called before enjoying a long drink of his beer.

"The Jackal apologizes for his late arrival. He was attending to the direst of situations for Stone Cold," Spinelli apologized profusely as he slipped into the empty chair across from Johnny. "You are probably wondering why I have called you here. I feel that it is time that we make amends for the sake of the fair Maxamista."

"I would like that."

Spinelli raked his fingers through his messy mop of chestnut strands anxiously. He had never felt at ease around Johnny, partly because he had seen the hooded way he looked at his best friend. It had only been a matter of time before Maxie would return those lustful gazes. "She's my best friend," he said softly. "I just want you to remember that. We both know how I feel about her. She means pretty much everything to me. If you're going to be with her, please promise me that you're going to love her. 'Cause if not, if this is just a fleeting thing, you should leave her now. I know that she pretends to be all strong and everything, but she has a fragile heart."

It was the second time Johnny had heard someone refer to her heart as fragile. "I know she has…I wish that I could reassure you, Spinelli, but she's where I want to be. She seems to want to be with me, too," he explained. "I know that you care about her, and she obviously loves you very much. She would leave me in an instant if you were to break off your friendship with her. You know that, don't you? She wouldn't even do that for her dad, but you matter that much to her. I want you to know that I don't take that lightly, just like I don't take her heart lightly."

Although it wasn't exactly the promise he wanted, it was all the explanation he needed. Spinelli knew that Maxie would have a fit if she could hear him. He didn't really have the right to ask these things of Johnny, but it was his responsibility as her best friend. "I would never ask her to forsake her own happiness for me."

"Yeah, that's what she said," Johnny smiled genuinely. If things had been different, their roles could have so easily been reversed. "I'm sorry for any part I played in hurting you, man. You have to know that it wasn't either of our intention."

"No apologies necessary," Spinelli waved dismissively. "What I had to work out was between Maxie and me. No one else really could understand other than us. Our relationship didn't particularly exist before all of this. I know that you being with her now changes that. I don't know that you and I will be friends, but I would like it if we could get along for her sake. I know that it matters to her, and it appears that neither of us is going anywhere soon."

As crazy as it sounded, Johnny was glad that there was another guy out there that would stand by Maxie's side no matter what. The day would come eventually when this life he'd been born into would do him in. His birthright would be his undoing, and Spinelli would be there to help Maxie pick up the pieces. Maybe that was the whole point of this. Maybe Johnny was just an indirect route that would lead Maxie and Spinelli back to each other in the end. If so, he could probably find a way to be okay with that. He had pledged early on to enjoy the ride while it lasted, and until some insurmountable circumstances came their way to tear them apart, he had every intention of holding on as tightly as he could.

After one final drink and nearly an hour more of conversation, Spinelli left the bar in a rush upon receiving a phone call from his mentor. Johnny paid off the tab and headed home, wanting nothing more in the world to slip in bed beside Maxie and hold her in the darkness of their bedroom. The apartment was dark when he returned, only a tiny sliver of light pouring through the curtains in the living room. He shed his coat and tossed the keys on the sofa on his way back to the bedroom. He could make out the faint outline of Maxie's body beneath the sheets.

"Johnny?" she called sleepily into the dark. "Is that you? I thought you would be home sooner."

"It's just me," he reassured her as he stepped out of his jeans and threw his shirt onto the floor. He peeled back the sheets and crawled in next to her. "Sorry I was so late; I just wanted to talk to Spinelli."

"About me?"

"Of course, what else would we talk about?" he asked, dropping a kiss on the back of her neck. "We both thought that it might be a good idea if we learned how to play nice if we were going to be in each other's lives. It doesn't seem that either of us has any plan of disappearing from yours in the immediate future."

He could have sworn he could see her smile in the dark as she turned over in his arms. "Good," she murmured happily, "because I kind of need you both. I wouldn't be very good at choosing at this point. I've been told I'm a very selfish girl, and I can't imagine not having both of you in my life."

"Neither of us would ever make you choose," he promised. "Besides, I think we're both afraid we'd lose."

Maxie knew that she should reassure him that he would always win out, but they would both know that was a lie. Most people had walked out on Maxie in her short life, but Mac and Spinelli were the two people that refused to let her go. They would be there long after she had managed to push everyone else away, and that kind of faith in her was enough to ensure she'd never leave them. Johnny understood that because he had Claudia in his life. There was nothing that would make him walk away from his sister.

"Well, let's just be glad that I don't have to make that choice then," she replied. "So have you given any more thought about getting back into the business? I'm not trying to rush you, I just wonder."

"Apart of me really doesn't want to…"

"But you feel like it's inevitable," she guessed. "Maybe it is, maybe it's not. What do you want?"

He bit his bottom lip. He knew what he wanted, he'd known all along. "It's in my blood, Jones, it's where I belong. I know that I'm risking a lot; you are, too. I just think that I'll never be good at anything else. Some people are born to be doctors or lawyers or teachers. I was born to run this family, to be the head of the organization."

"This is the first time I've heard you talk about it without mentioning an obligation or helping her sister leave Sonny or protecting what your father built," she realized aloud. "It's the first time you sounded like you were confident this is what you wanted to do. It's actually really the first time it was about you at all."

He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "It's not going to be easy," he warned.

"I'm up for the challenge."

"I'm going to go see Sonny tomorrow," he decided. "There are going to be a lot of things I won't be able to tell you. You won't always get to know where I am or what I've done. I will have secrets from you. I'll do things you don't like. It's just the way this world works."

She nodded solemnly in understanding. She knew the code well and had abided by it as her life had become more entwined with Jason and Spinelli's. "Tell me what you can and what I need to know," she said. "That's all I can ask. I don't expect to know everything. It's probably better for both of us that I don't. The only thing I will tell you is that if anything happens to Jason, Spinelli or anyone in their family, I will leave you. I don't care what happens or how you justify it, those people have been really great to me. They matter to me just like you do."

"I understand."

"That's not a promise."

"I would never hurt Spinelli or Jason's family," he vowed. "I'm not a monster. I will not let anyone hurt women or children under my orders."

"What about Jason?"

"Maxie, it's apart of this world. You can't show up and ask him not to hurt me."

"He would never do that."

"And how can you be so sure?"

"Unless you hurt someone he cares about, he never would hurt you," she said confidently. "Besides the fact that Sonny is married to your sister, you matter to me. Spinelli would do everything he could to protect you for my sake. Believe it or not, Jason actually has me under protection because he cares about me. If you put guards on me, they'll have to contend with the guys that have been watching me for the past year."

"I don't know, Maxie."

She rolled her eyes at his skepticism. "Think about it this way," she commanded. "When you loved Lulu, you wouldn't have wanted to hurt Jason because you knew that he mattered to her. She is Carly's cousin, and Carly and Jason have this strange soulmate connection thing going on. Lulu would have had a really hard time forgiving you. It worked both ways, so much so that she went to Carly the night Michael was shot to seek protection for you from Sonny and Jason. Unless you pushed Jason over the edge, he would never want to go there."

"I wouldn't either," he said defensively.

"I know," she assured him. "I just had to ask because I needed you to know how much they matter to me."

"And have you asked the same thing to Morgan?"

"I promise that he is not going to go after you."

He wasn't sure if he could believe it, but for now, it wasn't worth thinking about. "Why exactly are we talking about Jason Morgan in our bed? All thoughts of that guy shall be banished from this room!" he joked before threading his arms around her waist. He pulled her tightly against him and covered her throat with kisses. "I missed you today."

"We spent most of the evening together," she reminded him before groaning. "Johnny!"

"What?" he asked innocently, even as he dragged his teeth over her ear lobe. "C'mon, Jones, you know you want it."

He had no idea how much she wanted it, but she wasn't about to give in already. The last thing she wanted was for them to fall into a routine, a predictable pattern that he could follow to get her exactly where he wanted. "I'm not in the mood," she lied, hoping that her body did not betray her. His hands were very persuasive when they wanted to be, and if the trail they were making up her thigh were any indication, they were definitely on a mission. "I'm tired."

"Not buying it," he grunted in her ear as he spread apart her legs with his knee and moved on top of her. She moaned a little when he shifted away, her hands sliding frantically to his shoulders to bring him back down. "I thought you didn't want me!"

"Shut up," she demanded in a low voice as she slid her legs around his waist. When she had a strong grip on him, she turned them over so that she was straddling him. "Maybe you just need to work a little harder for it."

"Why bother when you're going to give in?"

"Now you're definitely not getting any."

"Empty threats are not effective, Jones," he teased. "I can feel how much you want it."

"Unlike some people, I can control myself."

"Yeah, right," he scoffed. "Just like you controlled it two nights ago in the elevator at the hospital? You could barely make it through dinner in the cafeteria with Robin without doing things to me under the table. You're just as insatiable as I am."

"You wish!"

"I know!" he corrected her. "Just give into it, baby, it'd be so much better. I'll even do it the way you like it. We both always have so much fun when it's like that."

Maxie shivered deliciously as she anticipated what the night held for them. She could fight it a little bit longer if she wanted, really make him work for it. However, the end result was going to be the same either way and she just needed to be with him. They had worked so hard to get to this place – to a position where they had stopped telling the lies and had shed all their masks and secrets for the cold and honest truth. Everyone knew about their entanglement, whether they approved or not. Their little affair on the side had turned into a full-blow relationship. It was still scary, but it wasn't as frightening as it had once been. It had been one hell of a ride up to this point, but Maxie was still there holding on.

"Alright, Zacharra," she relented. "I give up. I'm all in."


	15. Chapter 15

Johnny Zacharra had never been one to even try to do the right thing until Lulu Spencer came along. He often cursed the wayward blonde for having an impact on his life, something no one had never even attempted to really do. If his family bred people like Anthony and Claudia Zacharra, most people figured that there really wasn't a point. However, Lulu refused to accept that and had tried to make him into something he wasn't. It was funny that it had taken her biggest adversary to make that pursuit a reality. However, these days, Johnny only had to think of the soft giggle she makes when he kisses her behind her ear or the way she flutters her eyelashes when she is trying to get what she wants, and he finds himself doing what is right. It might not be the right thing to the rest of the world, but it was the right thing for them.

On the top of that new list of so-called right things was the very uncomfortable dinner Maxie had convinced Johnny to attend at Sonny's mansion. Four grueling hours of tense conversation had given way to multiple rounds of scotch. Sonny and Johnny had spoken frankly on the balcony as they came to an agreement about the business. Johnny would play a part in the organization, just like Jason and Claudia did. While Sonny might maintain his role as the godfather, it was understood that Johnny would never be treated like an underling. Claudia made that point very clear to her husband, a condition that he eventually accepted rather than face the wrath of his equally volatile wife.

After that family dinner at Greystone, Johnny had been forced to endure another go around with the Scorpios. He had very little in common with a pair of well-respected doctors and a revered police chief, but he managed to make it through after Maxie promised to make it up to him later. She had done exactly that when she had served him strawberry shortcake back at their apartment off her body. The sticky taste of strawberry on her skin was probably the sweetest, most delicious dessert of Johnny's life. He had played the part at Mac's perfectly, managing to charm Robin with his stories about traveling around Europe and making Emma giggle with his cute faces. He even managed to find common ground with Patrick on their mutual love of racing. Mac was only the one still completely unimpressed. Two days after that intense night at the Scorpio homestead, he was even more determined to make Mac like him.

It was late at night now as he stood alone on the rooftop of the newly reopened General Hospital, staring out over the city lights. It was only a year ago that he had stood on this very ledge, daring himself as he used the narrow strip of cement as a balance beam. Luke Spencer had found him that night, but the older man was nowhere in site now. Johnny was all alone, once again tempting fate. It was something he did every day when he woke up and went into the real world. A gunshot, an explosion, a rigged car accident – there were a number of things that could make him meet his maker. He would always be an adrenaline junkie, and walking this ledge made him feel alive. It was like being with Maxie. It was toxic, it was destructive, it was all wrong. However, despite all those things that reminded him how badly this could end for both of them, he was determined to make it work. They both were.

"Hey there, Zacharra, care for some company? Johnny spun around on his heel and met her eyes from his perch a few feet above her head. He smiled at her genuinely as he reached for her hand, pulling her up on the ledge to stand by his side effortlessly. Most other girls would be too afraid to be so daring. However, Maxie had never backed down a day in her life, and it was one of the many things that Johnny was coming to like about her. Coming to love about her. She was as brave as they came, his equal in every way. "You know you're crazy, right?"

"You're up here with me, Pretty Girl," he reminded her as he slipped his arm around her waist. He knew that one misstep or a gust of wind could send them both plunging to their deaths. The headlines would love it. However, he somehow felt safer on the ledge with her. It was like she kept him grounded. That was a new feeling to him. No one had ever given him a sense of safety in his entire life. It was a scary thing to have, something he wasn't ready to share with her. "If I'm crazy for standing up here, you have to be twice as crazy. Look at your shoes."

Maxie twisted her ankle slightly and looked down at her silver strappy sandaled heels. They were adorable, expensive and uncomfortable. "So maybe they're not exactly hiking shoes, but they make my legs look amazing," she smiled proudly before leaning on him slightly. "Why did you want me to come up here?"

"I wanted you to see who I am."

"Johnny, I know you."

"I know you think that…"

"No, Johnny, I _know_ you," she emphasized. "I know that risks just like I know the rewards. I don't need to stand up on this ledge to understand who you are. If I did, I wouldn't be up here with you."

He turned on the ledge and threaded his arms around her waist, pressing their foreheads together so that he could see only her baby blue eyes. "Tomorrow it becomes official. I'm back in the business. There is no going back after this."

"I don't want to go back. I didn't have you before this. I'm ready for what comes at us."

"I just want us to have one last perfect night."

"You're too damn romantic for your own good, Zacharra," she groaned. "We've never had a perfect night. I don't want a perfect night. I want the complications. I want the disasters. I want the beautiful messes. I want us. We're not perfect, Johnny. Perfection is boring. You and I are so much more than that."

"I love you."

His words were sudden and unexpected, even by him. The last thing he had planned on doing tonight was confessing what he had known for weeks. However, hearing her faith in him and her clarity on who they were as a couple was his reassurance.

"I know you do."

"That's it?" he laughed. "Is that all you're going to say?"

She smirked and nodded. "I've known for weeks, probably before you did."

"I guess I knew you loved me, too."

"I do," she confirmed. "We don't need to make those grand declarations, Johnny. I've had those before with Coop and Jesse. You had them with Lulu. That's not who we are. We just know." Johnny watched in admiration as she jumped down from the ledge and wiped the dust from her midnight blue dress. "You don't have to do this anymore. You don't have to test our relationship or me. I'm not going anywhere. You don't need to walk ledges to find out what I already know. I'm here, Johnny. Whether that means standing on the edge of a building or jumping in the line of fire or just having to listen to Sonny Corinthos go on and on about some island, I'm not going to give up on you."

Trailing his fingers through his hair, Johnny shook his head in amazement. "You don't have to listen to Sonny if you don't want to," he relented finally with a smile. She grinned as he jumped down on the ledge and landed beside her. "As for the ledges and the gunfire, it's probably apart of our life. I am always going to need to feel the rush."

"I can think of more constructive ways to give you a rush," Maxie purred as she wrapped her body around his. "I know how to make you feel alive."

"On the roof?" he asked with a teasing tone. "Really?"

"Well, we've never done it here," she pointed out. "Besides, it's always been kind of this fantasy I had. A dark night, a dark man, a dark passion – it's all pretty sexy, don't you think?"

He tilted his head to the side in feigned contemplation. "Well, I prefer the lighter side of things lately," he told her. "A girl with golden hair and light blue eyes, the silver light of the full moon, the light feeling of love. I think that's kind of sexy myself."

"I'm the light to your darkness."

"You are so many things I never expected, Jones."

"Tell me you love me again."

"Uh uh, you said we didn't need to say it."

"Please!" Johnny pulled her against him and pressed her back against the ledge. She ran her fingers beneath his shirt in search of the warmth his bare skin provided. "You're so warm."

"I said that to you the first night we slept together."

"And you also told me that I tasted "so good," she reminded him.

He smiled widely. "Just good enough to make it worth it, right?" She nodded as her hands found their home on his belt buckle. She undid the belt while he lifted her to the ledge and pushed her skirt out of the way. Maybe pressed up against a rooftop while the entire city buzzed around them wasn't the perfect romantic way to celebrate the first time they declared their love to each other, it was perfect for them. Johnny couldn't help but relish in that again. "I still love the slow build-up."

Maxie slid her legs around his waist as he sunk into her. It was still the fast and dirty sex that she loved, only with a tender edge to it that hadn't been there before. They still had that threat of getting caught, the stifled expressions of their mutual pleasure, the scrapes from the cement on the back of her thighs. He would have scratches on his shoulders from where she tried to brace herself and raw skin on his palms from gripping the ledge. It was just as messy as it had been that first night on the couch, and just like that night, they were the only ones who could really understand each other.

His hand made its way up her thigh before she reached down and brushed it away. "What the hell, Jones?"

"Hey," she said softly. She pulled back and looked into his eyes. "The first time we were like this, it wasn't about love. I told you that I wasn't going to be some dutiful girlfriend who followed after you. I'm still not going to be that girl. I am going to be the woman that loves you, your partner in crime. I'll always be selfish. I might lie to you. It's possible that we'll both regret it later. You knew all that and you still chose to love me."

He brushed a hair away from her face. "Thank God for that." The last thing he had wanted when he had started this was her. He'd wanted an easy escape. Instead, he had found someone that kept him tethered. They were still cynical and jaded. "I know it's love, Jones. You're not going to let me down. You're not going to lie to me or make me regret it. We don't need to say it to know it's true, remember? We just know it. I just want to spend the next twenty years trying to make you see that too."

"And to think, this all started because you wanted to use me for twenty minutes," she giggled as he started to move against her. "Of course, that ended up stretching into an hour, to the next day, to this moment."

"And we're still on the same page," he murmured. "It's still about feeling good in the here and now.

"So good," she groaned. "So, so, so good."

All conversation ceased as Johnny captured her lips. Before he knew it, Maxie had tugged off his shirt and pushed all clothing out of the way. They were completely encased in each other, moving as one in time with the pounding of their hearts. Sirens wailed in the background as she murmured her reassurance in his ear.

After it was over, Johnny pulled back on his tee shirt and wrapped his button-up around her. He held her hand as they walked back over to the edge, standing behind her as they gazed up at the stars. "You still haven't taught me that trick, you know," he reminded her. "You promised."

"Anytime, Zacharra," she promised. "Only next time, I think we need to save that for bed."

He smiled at her and thought about how far they had come. They were just two lost souls who had used each other for comfort two months ago when all of this started. "Maybe we need to say it, Jones."

"I love you, Zacharra" she whispered. "If you need to hear it, I'll say it. Even if I don't, you still know."

"I might need to hear it, even if I know," he retorted. "I love you too, Jones."

Maxie and Johnny were quiet as they made their way down to the parking lot to the waiting limo. It was one of the perks of his former life he had missed and was glad to have back. They ignored the probing stares as they slipped into the car and headed for home. They still weren't exactly sure what was happening between them, but it was finally something they were willing to admit just could be forever. The last thing either of them had wanted was to go falling in love but that was where they had ended up. Johnny had found himself another blonde, Maxie had landed another bad boy. All the lies had stopped. There was only one truth to be told. He meant everything. She meant everything. This meant everything.

_Fin. _


End file.
